Funny Messy Life - Volume 1
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I started a blog a few years ago hoping to rekindle some kind of a flame for the classic comedy stories that inspired me. Authors like Erma Bombeck, Dave Barry, and Southern story teller, Lewis Grizzard were heroes of mine and it seems that while due to the digital age, the likes of them may have floated downstream in paper boats made of the newspapers that carried them, there are still plenty of stories to tell.
Unfortunately, not many ended up reading my own stories in the blog, although the ones that did swore they loved the style, so I tried another approach ... a podcast. One friend told me that they would love to hear me actually tell my stories in my own voice.
Unfortunately, not many listen to the podcast.
So I'm trying one more thing because as I explain in one article, writers write. It's what we do and readers or not - listeners or not - the stories keep coming and I have to do SOMETHING with the little snots.
The podcast still exists and I'll attach a link for each episode that corresponds to each story I post here. There are already enough stories to complete over three volumes, so these compilations will only remain here free until I have them ready for self-publication.
I hope you enjoy them and please consider subscribing to the podcast.
- MJ
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Whispers of the stars
I am just collecting thoughts. No story. No connection between chapters. Just enjoy it or not. Idgaf
His Tesoro (The James Series book 1 )(BWWM)
BIG DISCLAIMER: I wrote this book when I was a CHILD. The MC's are underage. If it makes you uncomfortable, please DO NOT read. This book is still up due to it being a comfort book, outside the smut. It touches on mental health and can be relatable. PLEASE, THIS IS A WARNING! THEY ARE UNDERAGE. "let me tell you something, darling. you've unlocked a side of me, even I fear. but since you want to keep me up all night, challenging me, he's gonna show up at some point." Mateo whispers, huskily into my ear, gripping my neck. "what are you talking about?" I whisper. "like how I show no mercy when killing someone. I can also show no mercy in bed. you're not sensitive, so you should be able to take the degrading. right, Tesoro?" he asks, i nod. "you know it's not true though. you know I love and cherish you, beautiful," he says slowly. "right?" "mhm." I nod. Mateo slowly starts speeding up his thumb, on my clit. "right. now I know, my Tesoro isn't so vanilla and innocent. So tell me, love. do you have any kinks?" the question catches me off guard. do I? "ya," I mumble. "I want you to list them," he whispers, I can hear the smirk on his face. "bondage, CNC- shit- dirty talk, uh-um, choking, degrading, stimulation. fuck i can't think," I mumble. "you've said my favourites, but have you ever heard of darcyphilia?" he asks, slowly entering his finger again. "n-no." I stutter. "well, I want to fuck you, overstimulate you, edge you, until you're in tears, chanting your safe word." _________________________________ ⚠️ I WON'T CONSIDER THIS BDSM, BUT IT DOES CONTAIN HEAVY SMUT⚠️ ⚠️ THIS BOOK DOES NOT PROMOTE TEEN PREGNANCY⚠️ ⚠️EVERYTHING OTHER THEN THE MAFIA CULTURE AND RACIAL CULTURES ARE FICTION⚠️ ⚠️ THIS BOOK IS CONSIDERED 18+ BUT IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT... I AIN'T YOUR PARENT. BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU⚠️ ⚠️YES THE GIRL IS ON BIRTH CONTROL FROM THE GET-GO⚠️Lengkap
UNEXPECTED HEART: A LOVE STORY OF ARRANGED BEGINNINGS (BWWM)
𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬: 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞. ____________________________________________ I opened the door to Lorenzo's office, which was a masculine, spacious, and luxurious room with a dark, old-money theme. He was on a phone call, but I didn't mind. As I walked towards him, his eyes were glued to my every move. I slowly took off my robe, revealing my stunning body. Lorenzo let out a low growl and gasped at the sight of me. The person on the other end of the phone call asked if anything was wrong, to which Lorenzo replied, "No," while still looking at me and licking his lips. I positioned myself sitting on Lorenzo's lap, then started grinding on him, feeling him get a huge boner as he began to grunt. He whispered, "P-princess." "Yes, my love?" I responded, pausing my movements. "Please don't," he pleaded, trying to keep his grunting quiet. Just then, the person on the phone asked him a question about their newest business venture. ____________________________________________ 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧, 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲. ......It captures the essence of their unique journey from arranged marriage to falling in love I'll start updating 4 times a week next week!!!!Lengkap
𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 | ✔︎
𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃 (This is NOT an incest story!!) 19 year old Avyana, also a very known assassin in the underworld known as Angel, living with her twin Alessio. For the first 5 years of the twins' lives, they lived happily with their two parents and 5 older brothers. On the twins' 5th birthday, they were taken by the German mafia, their family's worst enemy. The Morettis are heartbroken because the light in their dark world was taken. Alessio and Avyana hate their family because they think their family gave them up and caused them the abuse and torture they've endured. When the twins end up moving to New York, where their family lives, for a mission, will they happen to run into their family whom they hate? Will family recognize the twins? Can the twins ever forgive their family? When Avyana's dark past creeps back into her life, will she tell Alessio? Will her family find out before its too late?... Or will they lose their daughter for good this time. Will Avyana sacrifice herself for her family's sake? Will she get the happy ending she deserves? ••• ❝Oh my God." I breathe out, tears welling up in my eyes. "I know I've been busy with work and my mafia, but I thought we needed a little date night. Just the two of us." he says, wiping a tear from my cheek that I didn't realize had fallen. "Kayden, t-this is amazing! I love it!" I stutter and jump on him, which he catches me, and I cling like a koala. "I love you to the moon and beyond." I mumble into his neck, and he tightens his hold on me. "I love you more, baby. Always. To the moon and beyond." He rasps into my ear, and when I let go of him, we just stare into eachothers eyes for a second. Just him and I.❞ __________________________________________________________________________________ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 - July 9th, 2024 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃 - Dec 19th, 2024Lengkap
Optimism in That 'Condition'
This is the story of many who think are alone and are left out. They feel abandoned and some are even despised. Good news; you are neither left out nor abandoned; we are in a different generation, where people have learn to embrace and love ‘us’. You are not alone in the fight; there is a great multitude in front of, at the back and beside you; so take courage. Having gone through this experience, I can testify that the people around me have really been there for me. I feel loved, especially my mum, who is my role model and my greatest inspiration. She has really molded me into being the kind of responsible person I am. I am thankful to her. So I welcome you to my adventure as an optimistic person. I believe that my story might change you and those around you. We all have one life to live and prove ourselves. We just need to step out and step up because the society needs us. Our economy needs us, the community needs us, the government needs us and the world needs us more. So we have no reason to stay in our ‘safe cocoons’. The future of our society is in our hands. It all starts with our optimism in the tough times we are experiencing. I am thankful to all those difficult people in my life; they have really shown me exactly who I do not want to be. Even in this situation, I believe am a responsible person because of them… God bless them so much; and bless you too for reading my story. I welcome you all to my story. Please read, feel free to comment and to ask me any questions. I have no book cover yet, it is still in the making. Thanks everyone, God bless you all.Lengkap
Persistence (George Weasley x Reader)
This did start out as an OC, but you know, people want reader stories. I did it in first person POV, let me know and maybe I'll change it. I just kinda prefer reading these reader x character stories like that. You are a fifth year student and very closed off, growing up in a house that lacked love and affection. Somehow, you end up spending half of Christmas vacation at the burrow and it seems that George Weasley is going to be the death of you. I tried. TRIGGER WARNING - character doesn't have a good relationship with her parents DISCLAIMER: I very obviously do not own any of these characters. Also, not really mature, but does have some language.Lengkap
4- A Warning For You
Part of the Past Live's category of my works. This is a true story of how a 12 year old girl was attacked by what modern cultures tolerate. People unknowingly glorify s3x, k!lling, su!icide, drama, negativity, and so on. Inspired by David Goggin's Can't Hurt Me Book. "Judge it man, judge it." People do not see that children within the last 3 generations are turning into zombies and are exposed to all sorts of garbage that destroys them. Terrible actors have allowed pedoph!les to be seen as normal- no one questions them when they enter a bathroom not for them or when they demand from entitlment to have the opportunity to attack a child- especially online. Children, young teens, young adults, and parents this is for you. If you've been hurt or want to see another window into a small section of the carnivorous evil that's broken into your home. Here's you a real maddening story of how this girl's mind became p3rverted with wild fantasies and developed f3tishes and believed she was a transgender boy, trapped in a female's body. Will you allow your children to build themselves In life upon lies? Will you scour through social media to see what truly is hunting your family and their sanity? This is Not another #MeToo story, as the main character of this Refuses to be a victim and instead turns her chains into a workout to become stronger. Following Christ's lead to bear life, its suffering, its responsibilities, and other's burdens, by picking up her cross and walking with the guidance of his footsteps. Thanks be to God for his glory and mercy. And yes I made this cover myself 😎Lengkap
Creepypasta Parent Scenarios
This is my first time doing one of these, so please please please let me know where I can improve! Also, I'm going to describe features, but feel free to change them to fit your appearance so that it's a self insert and not an X!Reader. Thank you for reading! A Star Notes is mentioned, until I figure out how to write the personality of them. When that's done, I'll edit where it'll be placed(Like the # it's placed under) and so updates for that will be like a spam update. (I'm using gender neutral terms like they/them/their because I don't like to put genders down, and especially since this is an x!reader and there could be males females and non binary's/genderfluid people reading this book.)Lengkap
The Gory Details (Gross)
Between 2004 and 2008 I wrote a series of "Tips for Writers" for Nocturnal Ooze magazine vaguely about what would happen in real life if you did the things they do in movies but mostly about the gross out. I've always loved them and so have taken them out of mothballs for a new audience here on wattpad. They're all here except for #13 which seems to have vanished. I've also left them mostly intact except for a few very dated references that have been updated. I own the rights to the articles and Queen Mum of the Ooze, Kay Patterson has allowed me to keep the name "Gore Monger" (which she owns) provided I write: The Gore Monger appears courtesy of Nocturnal Ooze. If you enjoy these articles, please consider supporting me on Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/NogginBrain?fan_landing=trueLengkap
Discovering You (You Series, Book 2)
Finding Happiness Spinoff - Jordan (Cole's best friend) My past haunts me. I don't do relationships because of it. I hook up, one night no feelings. Feelings make things difficult and I do not like complications. The moment I saw her I knew she was going to ruin me. Break every wall I've build around my heart. It started to happen just by the first glance. My Mom always told me I'll have to grow the hell up sometime, I guess this is growing up. I never wanted anyone more than I wanted her, when one night turned into two nights, then all the sudden we woke up tangled together I knew I was a goner. I needed her, I needed everything about her. Proving I was good enough for her was the only thing I was worried about. I have Daddy issues. Mine wasn't around much, I mean like he's around just didn't give a crap about my brother or me. I'm not close to my Mother either so I guess I have Mommy issues too. I'm just a big blob of issues, I don't do commitments because of this. I've worked my ass off in school to be where I'm at now, and I don't need a man to mess any of that up. I'm not a slut, I just know what I want, and a relationship is not that. Then I had one night with him, that one night changed my entire life, it quickly moved into two nights then we were basically together all the time. I walked away from the best thing that has ever happened to me. Maybe I'll find my way back when I'm not so scared to ruin his life. This story has a lot more bedroom scenes than the others just beware before hand! There is loss, and PTSD, and may have some triggers so here is your warning. Hope you enjoy! Huge shout out and thank you to SamanthaSapphire and DaisySalgadoPham for help with naming this one!! 💖Lengkap
I am just collecting thoughts. No story. No connection between chapters. Just enjoy it or not. Idgaf
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