After Practice

"Do you know what it is like to feel like the weight of someone's existence is crushing you? Have you ever been around someone who is so bright it hurts to be around them? That's what it felt like to be loved by Bokuto in the privacy of my dorm walls. But beyond those walls that warm sunshiny place was only a memory. The moment we stepped foot in the eye of the public I became just another person. It was crushing to be so loved yet so despised by him. I knew he loved me but I also knew he hated loving me.

He once confided in me, telling me how much he hated the fact that his arms fit perfectly around my body, because it made him want to never let me go. In that same sense, I hated that his arms fit perfectly around me because it meant we were made for each other, and yet somehow I had to wait to hug him in the cover of darkness. I thought I'd be okay with being with him in secret, I thought that his light would be enough to light up the night sky, but I came to find out that despite his outgoing demeanor, Bokuto had a darkness within him. Bokuto had something that ate away at him, quiet sobs that kept me up at night, quiet wimpers I'd pretend not to hear when he spent the night."