I will never be like you
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Complete Sat, Oct 24, 2020<5 mins
This is a poem about me being jealous of my little sister. When I was in high school, sure I worked hard, but I only thought of myself. I could never foresee my sister becoming better at literally everything: she is becoming salutatorian, she qualified for Nationals in Speech and Debate, became co-captain of her soccer team, and basically made friends with everyone. When I was in HS, I graduated third in the class (I know that's still amazing, but I can't help but wish I was salutatorian), never even got to States in Speech and Debate, never went past JV in tennis, and didn't have a lot of friends. I am well aware that envy stems from low self-esteem, and whether or not I feel jealousy or let it get to me is up to me. I also know that I should be happy for my little sister. But sometimes I can't help but think about these things and feel awful, and so this is my way of letting it out emotionally.
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I'm Melaani and both of my parents are lawyers. Let's just say they're such a good team I'm considered a millionaire but no one in my school knows that. I dress like I have no money and I get bullied everyday. I've done modelling shoots, runways, red carpets, movie premieres and more but why hasn't anyone noticed me? The way I dress for those things all come from my moms closet and her make up artists make me look the exact opposite of what I actually look like. Yet my parents are never home and they judge me by what I wear. My brother the Captain of the baseball team drives me to school but drops me off a block away for me to walk the rest because he's embarrassed of me.luckily I'm 16 and I have my license, I just need to convince my parents to buy me a car. And what am I going to do when my brothers co-captain starts talking to me? Please be warned there will be talk of self harm and maybe some act of self harm, drugs and alcohol, detailed sexual contact and explicit language etc.
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