Detoxing From You.

every day I'm left at a loss for words. ✘CW: mentions of suicide and self-harm © 2017-2023 alexxiajay, all rights reserved *i wrote this collection in 2017, i have only updated it recently. (fixed some grammatical errors, and changed a few things, but otherwise, i've tried to leave it true to form) *all images are from google, i do not own any of them

Another collection of (bad) poems. *tw: mentions of sexual assault, drug use, drinking, suicidal ideation and self harm* -a collection of poems that document my experiences with my mental health throughout high school. a warning: i had a few undiagnosed disorders, as well as a self harm addiction (in recovery now!!) so reader discretion is advised. started: November 2019 finished: May 2023

Of Breaking hearts, young love, betrayal and pain. Of Mending hearts, familiar pain, unexpected hurt and aftermath. Of Healing hearts, underated heartache, pain and acceptance. Of Love, Love that is as deep sea. Pain, that knows no bounds. Strength, that exist within time, but lasts forever. Of Sadness, sadness that always returns, Of Trauma, trauma that runs in deep, and the art of dying, every time. Of Scribbles and rambles, unsaid words and sealed pain. Of Life, Love, Pain, Sadness, Trauma. Of the art of rising like a phoenix, every time. Of Anxiety and Paranoia. Of Anything bad, Of Everything good. This is a story of a girl, it's a continuous one. A story of a sad girl, very lonely, but beautiful, intelligent and strong. She's a self sabotaging narcissistic girl, but also a talented, skilled and brave girl. She is riddled with anxiety and depression, but somehow finds ways to get up each morning, thinking of beautiful things. She has loved and lost, hurt and being hurt. She has not lost herself, but she has not find herself either. This is the life of a girl, laid before you in poems and thoughts. Here is a piece of me, and in here, undoubtedly, you will find pieces of yourself too. I am a mess, but aren't we all? | formerly SOMETHING BROKEN |

This is a small collection of poems that I have compiled over the years starting at age 15 stemming from my own personal experiences and observations of the world around me. I am hoping in the future for this to become a book. Trigger warning mentions of suicide, attempting suicide, self harm, addiction, OD, hanging, child abuse, depression, bullying, and psychological torture.

{poetry : completed} "𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞." in a tiny corner of the world, but in the vast corner of my imagination, this is my paracosmic delusion, something that i've created out of indignant, dejected and euphoric emotions. each word in this book constitutes my delusional nightmares, the ones that i know aren't really there yet i write about them anyway. this is me, my barest and deepest feelings, and my monstrous thoughts. ✦✦✦ [all rights reserved | ©2021 ] [ cover designed by me ] [ peace \/ ]

a book of (bad) love poems *TW: sexual content* -a collection of poems that chronicles my experience with love and sexuality through out high school, including a series of minor crushes, major crushes and my first real love (and yes, i did spend nearly all 4 years pining for one person). started: November 2019 finished: May 2023

WARNING: Some pieces may contain triggers for those who struggle with any form of depression or self harm. Please read with caution. I will often rearrange the chapters in the way I see fit, so please be patient and keep that in mind. This is my first attempt at poetry. It will consist of shit that I've gone through/dealt with and ramblings from my screwed up mind. These works are purely fictional and not meant to be taken literally.

There is a community of the spirit. Join it, and feel the delight of walking in the noisy street, and being the noise. Drink all your passion, and be a disgrace. Close both eyes to see with the other eye. Open your hands, if you want to be held. Sit down in this circle. Quit acting like a wolf, and feel the shepherd's love filling you. At night, your beloved wanders. Don't accept consolations. Close your mouth against food. Taste the food. You moan, "She left me." "He left me." Twenty more will come. Be empty of worrying. Think of who created thought! Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. Live in silence. Flow down and down in always widening rings of being. There's a strange frenzy in my head, of birds, flying, each particle circulating on its own. Is the one I love everywhere? Drunks fear the police, but the police are drunk too. People in this town love them both like different chess pieces. ----------------------------------- All things that we hide in our hearts eat us alive. This book is - full of emotions, love, care and agitation. Well, you need to read this to know what's in. Moreover, It consists of quotes, snippets, poems, bits of advice...Ummm simply deep and random stuff. Go Ahead! HIGHEST rank #1 in poetry as of 19.02.2018 ----------------------------------- 4/10/17 --- 19/04/18

One troubled, and confused young man, Jerome Caspey finds himself starving for something that his father never gave him -- Love. Will he find it or will his traumatizing demons direct his path into an inevitable downfall? ___________________________________________________________________________________ New Message To: Love Hopeless, discouraged, traumatized, confused, hateful, ostracized, unvalidated, silenced, worthless, frightened... This is how you've made me feel. So how the fuck can you call yourself love? Why don't you want me to be free? Why are tears always hiding behind my smile? Why do I feel dead to the responsibility of living, rather than feeling responsible to live? Feel's like my breath shortens each day that I have to endure without you..My spirit feels as empty as the pit of my stomach.. Why don't you crave me like I crave you?? I'm lost without you..please text me back