Shitty Ships
- Reads 211
- Votes 4
- Parts 4
Ongoing8m
Last published Tue, Apr 11, 2023
The shittiest Harry Potter ships there are (purely for comedic purposes)
Hope you like the beautiful photo of Robert Pattison for the cover.
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#36
harryjamespotter
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『 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗲 』
↳ 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘹 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘧𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩. 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮. cover by: @rrousieanneComplete
Harry Potter Oneshot(s)
Not sure if I'm going to make a collection. I mean let me know in the comments if I should. *~* So this turned into a collection. Requests are welcome Current Ships include: BlaisexHarry (Blarry) - 3 BlaisexHermione (Blamione) - 3 DracoxOC - 1 DracoxHermione (Dramione) - 3 DracoxHarry (Top Draco - Drarry) - 4 FredxHermione (Fremione) - 2 HarryxOC - 1 HarryxDraco (Top Harry - Harco) - 3 Tom RiddlexOC - 1 Tom RiddlexDracoxHarry (Bottom Harry - Tomdrarry) - 1 Tom RiddlexRon - 1 Other Story - 7 *~* Symbol Guide: 🔥 Means it is Spicy/Smutt No flame means there's no SmuttComplete
𝐂 𝐑 𝐀 𝐕 𝐄
"𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙗𝙨𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚." The 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 that makes you feel 𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙯𝙞𝙚𝙧 than you already are. The 𝙝𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 that makes it almost 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙪𝙡. This is 𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜. Cover made by @haruhiifowlComplete
Dark Paradise| Draco Malfoy
-dark paradise ☾ 'every time i close my eyes...' ☾ (dracoxfem!oc) half-blood prince- deathly hallows p2 cover by @heartwavs!Complete
𝑻𝒐 𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒎𝒏||𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒛𝒐 𝑩𝒆𝒓𝒌𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒆
» In which Autumn Lestrange is expelled from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic after hexing a boy so badly he forgets everything he knows. After being transferred to Hogwarts and placed under the supervision of her cousin Draco Malfoy, Autumn is prepared for a miserable year. What she isn't prepared for is Lorenzo Berkshire coming back into her life. Her former best friend. The boy who left her behind. Lorenzo spent years convincing himself he didn't remember her. Autumn spent years pretending she didn't miss him. Neither of them expects their old friendship to survive. Neither of them expects fate to have other plans. And as the war creeps closer and secrets begin to unravel, they learn that some people can never truly be forgotten. No matter how hard you try. » 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 ❥ 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝟷𝟼𝚝𝚑 𝚂𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟺 (𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚗-𝚙𝚞𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝙹𝚊𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟻) 𝚁𝚎𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 ❥𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝟸𝟹𝚛𝚍 𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟻 𝙴𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 ❥𝚂𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝟷𝟽𝚝𝚑 𝙹𝚊𝚗𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟼 Cover made by the lovely @-vxmpyre Highest Rankings #2 in #theonott on 4/11/2025 #1 in #narcissamalfoy on 17/01/2026 #3 in #lorenzo on 4/11/2025 #10 in #lorenzoberkshire on 4/11/2025 #1 in #enzoberkshire on 10/12/2025 #19 in #malfoy on 4/7/2026 #34 in #mattheoriddle on 4/7/2026 #5 in #lestrange on 4/7/2026 #6 in #deatheaters on 4/7/2026
◣ 𝗦𝗢𝗙𝗧 𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗧 ◥
❝ 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦. ❞ -𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘚𝘭𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯 ↳ 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗩𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗮 𝗱𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗼𝗱𝗿𝗶𝗰'𝘀 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄.. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘣 𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙩.Complete
𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 || 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞
ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ 1940ꜱ, ʜᴏɢᴡᴀʀᴛꜱ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴏꜰ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜᴄʀᴀꜰᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡɪᴢᴀʀᴅʀʏ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇᴅ ʜᴏꜱᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴡᴏ ꜱᴏᴜʟꜱ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅᴀʀᴋɴᴇꜱꜱ-ᴛᴏᴍ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ, ᴀ ᴄʜᴀʀɪꜱᴍᴀᴛɪᴄ ᴍᴀɴɪᴘᴜʟᴀᴛᴏʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ʜᴜɴɢᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴠɪᴄᴛᴏʀɪᴀ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋᴡᴏᴏᴅ, ᴀ ɢɪʀʟ ᴄᴜʀꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ꜱʟᴏᴡʟʏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀ ʙᴇᴀꜱᴛ. ʜᴜɴᴛᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ʜᴇʀ ʀᴀʀᴇ ɢɪꜰᴛꜱ ʙʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴏɴᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴡɪᴢᴀʀᴅꜱ, ꜱʜᴇ ꜰɪɢʜᴛꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ ʙᴏᴛʜ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴀᴛᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏɴꜱᴛᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ. ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ꜰᴀᴛᴇꜱ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴡɪɴᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟʏ ɢᴀᴍᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ, ᴏʙꜱᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇꜰɪᴀɴᴄᴇ. ᴛᴏᴍ ꜱᴇᴇꜱ ɪɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴀ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ-ᴠɪᴄᴛᴏʀɪᴀ ʀᴇꜰᴜꜱᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴏɴᴇ. ʏᴇᴛ ᴀꜱ ᴅᴀʀᴋɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴛɪɢʜᴛᴇɴꜱ ɪᴛꜱ ɢʀɪᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀʙɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴅᴇꜱɪʀᴇꜱ ɪɢɴɪᴛᴇ, ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇꜱ ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴡᴏɴ.
Drarry oneshots because WHY NOT
Read the title u weirdo. No smut, only Drarry and other canon ships besides harryxginny. Enjoy :)Complete
↳ 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘹 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘧𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩. 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮. cover by: @rrousieanne
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