Story cover for The Heart's Gamble by _saireal
The Heart's Gamble
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    Parts 2
Ongoing, First published Oct 01, 2020
Mature
Love is a cruel gamble where you bet your whole heart knowing you'll likely lose. When you're someone like me, love feels fake and distant. You pour yourself into people-lovers, friends, and even family-only to watch them return your love with silence, distance, and aggression.



That's what I've made to believe. Until you came into my life. You treated me with love and care, enough to make me feel special. For the first time, I felt cherished. I was happy that finally, I am seen and loved. But now I wonder if I hoped too much. 



Tell me, will I ever be enough? Or should I give up these feelings and stop chasing for a love that were never truly mine?
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YuanFen by hannarie_21
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What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'
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Can a damaged soul love again? Could you mend the shattered crystals inside my heart? Could you find the misplaced pieces inside my brain? They say, love has no gender, but why does society couldn't accept us? Why do some of them are against us? Nonetheless, I still wanna pass through the harshest knife that is tossed. I still wanna pass through hurricanes that they own. Dandelions are waterproof. They never cry; they whisper. That's how I defined you, you never shed a tear. You frequently take my dilemmas when I disappear.