Gone Fishing
- Reads 50
- Votes 6
- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sun, Feb 28, 2016
This is a taster sample of a story I'm working on and I really would appreciate any kind of feedback please, from constructive criticism through editorial corrections and on to other comments.
Does the story engage you?
Do you want to read more?
Does it flow?
Do you find the characters interesting and want to know more about them and their situation(s)?
or Were you bored shitless and glad I only posted about 300 words?
All Rights Reserved
#2
autocracy
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
SECOND DRAFT: Hard Bank Left
I am republishing this for a friend who wanted to read a sample of my work. The plot is all over the place, but I know I'll revisit it in future. I initially wrote this in 2017 before I knew a lot of things I know now. There's a lot in here that is culturally insensitive. I have done my best to edit out what I could find at first glance, but if you see something glaringly offensive please make a comment about it so that I can correct my errors. The most egregious example that comes to mind is using the G-word for the Romani and relying on unflattering stereotypes. I plan to correct a lot of this in proceeding drafts. Other than that, enjoy my emotional, nonsensical ride! Trigger warnings for: body dysmorphia, body horror, medical trauma, sexual assaultComplete
Instinct
(This novel is under revision as of 2-5-19 up until I feel the true motivation to scrub through most of my older work. Also this summary is something to be fixed but until then) A thousand years ago the extermination of Earth from unknown circumstances brought about the end of humanity for the planet. The end of animals, most of nature, technology and everything that advanced in between. After Earth's destruction a new life began with the survivors of the near extinction of humanity. They constructed a singular civilization encased in a wall for protection from outside forces, built on the hope to reproduce and thrive with the life they were forced into. Zykard would be the start of a second life for humans But within that time of rebirth some of the survivors surged with horrors of Pre-Reearth. Heresy, treachery, riots, thefts, murders and revolutions. A need to for order was introduced, and brought about the leader of Zykard and seven factions of ten people. A thousand years later theres a change. An outsider appears and seemingly becomes the new leader of Zykard, bringing more hardships with their hopes. Crimson, a seventeen year old girl faces the verge of adulthood. The final trials being the only gap between her new reality. A new injection to be given to everyone after the trials. She will face the ugly second face of what Zykard really is behind the curtains. Face pain she never thought would be possible and lose what she loves the most. She will understand what it's like to become apart of the Zykard.Complete
NHD
I have sat often in front of the computer, and stared long at the screen without ever writing a word. The synopsis for this project has haunted me since the first person asked me "So, what is it about?", and to this day I have never been able to deliver a straight answer. This book is about a number of things, many of which do not fit evenly into a succinct description. I have tried to make them fit and have found the resulting descriptions ill-representing and dull. Thus, I have decided to go without a description. This book will fade into obscurity no matter what I put here, so I might as well write what's really important. Winter in a city is an especially punishing time. This book comes out of my late nights and early mornings riding the train, and my looking at the window and being able to make out nothing but the blur of the glass. From the outside it may look dead, but certain people know that the inner workings of a city are a true marvel to behold. In writing this, I have tried to capture that marvel and deliver it to you, the reader. This is a book about a city and the people within it. The rest is up for you to read, if you so choose. Pyre lives on whether you experience it or not. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A science-fiction novel, updated whenever there is new material to post. The last cover was AI generated, so I spent some time making a crude cover of my own. For the sake of Wattpad I have divided up the chapters into parts, so everything under "The Glow" is Chapter 1 and so on. If you have read this far into the description, I thank you; you've made it further than mostly everyone before you. I hope you stick around. β β 
Fantasy Writing test
This is just a test to see if my writing is good and if i should continue writing as a serious job, please read. | UPDATE: DONT JUDGE ME OFF OF THIS MY WRITING HAS GOTTEN A LOT BETTER SINCE I PUBLISHED THIS, READ MY OTHER STORY INSTEAD |Complete
FROST: The Beginning Of The End (OG)
Enjoy the first draft of the story so far... This story tackles perspective on life from two different people who might not be very different after all. I don't really want to spoil much of it and I don't really have a cover for it , so if you fuck with the title for some reason and want to kill some time read this. keep in mind I am not perfect there will be A LOT OF DICTATION and GRAMMAR MISTAKES! I hope I was able to make you feel something even if that feeling was cringe. Forgot to say some stuff... This story takes place in a fictional future. And I was heavily inspired by bladerunner , Detroit become human, The wolf among us and probably a bunch of other stuff. Btw if you took the time to read this, DESTROY ME even if you liked it. I'm totally open to criticism and any kind of feedback would be appreciated. I can only improve, right? You might see a lot of "Sargent" instead of "sergeant" so... I blame my autocorrect for this one but eventually I'll realize my mistake.
Legends Life - Out of control
This is a novel about a topic we technically made up randomly and if there are any mistakes, errors, or just places I could fix and add more details please tell me, I want to make this book enjoyable and exciting to read! Also please be aware that some of these will be notice's and this book does need and have a blood warning and a swear warning! Please do be aware if you can't deal with blood this book does get descriptive (Partly true) and I will be explaining what scars, burns and wounds look like and the pain felt for them. This book is more themed in the future than it is nowadays. You may also find some technology that is more futuristic, and there are things talking about the past. Most of the book is switching between views of the main characters. We want you to expect the unexpected in this book, for example: Most books don't kill off the main character, we want you to think we will kill off one of them. Most of the characters in this will have birthdays and age in the background and it may not be written. There will be more books coming out so we will end this one on a cliffhanger.Complete
Link City
When you're marked you have two choices; fight or die. Nance lives in the past, literally. Her city is a recreation of early twenty-first century society. To the outside world they're experiments, just rats running around a maze. In an impoverished future world, the city seems to be their only chance of finding where they went wrong, or so they say. Nance doesn't know the real purpose of her home, and she doesn't care. All she sees are the one hundred teenagers, just like her, who are killed every year in the barbaric ritual known as the marking. They tattoo your face and pit you against your peers, against the city. Nance doesn't know why, but it doesn't matter, because she's sixteen and it's her turn to be marked. **So I decided to replace the original story with the rewrite because they are pretty much exactly the same. Plus, it's a lot less complicated then having two separate books for the same story.** There is a * next to all rewritten chapters. THE ORIGINAL VERSION IS COMPLETE. IT'S JUST NOT MARKED AS SUCH BECAUSE I GAVE UP ON THE REWRITE.Complete
Sundrop x Moondrop
Sun and Moon story with a lot of angst, fluff and twists. There will be interesting things that are going to make many questions. There will be sadness, pain, insecurity, trauma, hate, things. --------- Contains: Angst Fluff Love Hate Swearing NSFW (only one part) Gore Blood Murder Child murder Mentions of blood Mentions of murder Torture Death ----- Don't worry, there will be warnings. * And by the way I drew the picture/cover of the book all by myself. It took me almost five hours so give me credit if you are going to use it! I'll be happy to see it in some of any reason of using it ^v^Complete
![πΈππ ππ π π»ππ [βπ ππ‘πππ₯ππ]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/259479678-256-k366673.jpg)
I am republishing this for a friend who wanted to read a sample of my work. The plot is all over the place, but I know I'll revisit it in future. I initially wrote this in 2017 before I knew a lot of things I know now. There's a lot in here that is culturally insensitive. I have done my best to edit out what I could find at first glance, but if you see something glaringly offensive please make a comment about it so that I can correct my errors. The most egregious example that comes to mind is using the G-word for the Romani and relying on unflattering stereotypes. I plan to correct a lot of this in proceeding drafts. Other than that, enjoy my emotional, nonsensical ride! Trigger warnings for: body dysmorphia, body horror, medical trauma, sexual assault
More detailsContent Guidelines