![[insert title]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/244957967-256-k168032.jpg)
[insert title]
- Reads 19
- Votes 0
- Parts 2
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sat, Oct 24, 2020
TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM/SUICIDE/ABUSE
When your mind is your worst enemy, who do you trust? I don't trust my own voice. Is it really mine? Am I even here? Can you see me? Can you hear me? Do I exist? I don't trust my own hands. I don't trust anything that tells me it will all be okay. I don't belong in my body and I am just floating as my body takes control and tries to protect me from me. Is everything a façade? Is this a game? An illusion? Am I trapped? Can I get out? Can't I just have a normal life with some friends, a bit of sadness, a bit of joy and just a little bit of crazy? Why is everything so extreme? Why do I feel so intensely? My existence is a mirage. I am stuck in a loop and I don't know how to get out of it. I tell myself it is alright but the voice tells me it is not. It tells me that I am faking it. It tells me that I am a liar. It tells me I crave attention. It tells me that everything happening to me is just an act. I believe it and forget to believe myself. Every action is filled with doubt. Is this me? Is this what I would do? Or am I just pretending to be someone else? My hands turned against me last night. I tried to stop them but I think they had had enough. They choked my throat as I struggled to scream. I begged two helping hands to hold me down. They did but how do I forget what I did? How do I forget when I don't even know if I exist anymore? How do you know it is you when all you are is a name?
All Rights Reserved
#302
borderlinepersonalitydisorder
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Crushed Underneath the Surface
For years, I've been writing in silence, creating worlds, characters, and stories that lived only in the margins of my notebooks and tucked-away folders on my computer. Writing has always been my escape, something I've done for myself-a way to step out of reality for a moment and breathe through the lives of the people I've imagined. I've written and rewritten countless stories, always hesitant to share them, never quite confident enough to let anyone else peek into the depths of my mind. It's always felt like just a hobby, something personal, something safe. But deep down, I've carried a quiet dream of becoming a writer, even though it felt a little foolish to hope for something so big. Now, after pouring myself into this story for what feels like a lifetime, I've finally done it-I've uploaded all my chapters to Wattpad, sharing this piece of me with the world. I know I still have so much to learn, and I'm always striving to get better, but I would truly appreciate any feedback-good, constructive criticism that can help me grow. This is just the beginning, but it feels like a huge step forward. Thank you for taking a chance on this book. Whatever brought you here, whether it was curiosity, a recommendation, or just a moment of wandering, I am truly grateful.Complete
In Love With Blindfolds On
I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?Complete
Foul Play
**WARNING** ~contains explicit content that may not be acceptable to all viewers. discretion advised~ "The question, 'why shouldn't I?' played on a loop in my head. I was fed up with biting my tongue and walking the so-called straight and narrow. It had gotten me nothing but misfortune. People walked all over me because I showed them that it was possible. They say to be kind. To love. To live your life purely. Not to expect anything in return. Why then, did it seem like all anyone wanted was to take from me? Take and take and take until there was nothing left, and even then, try to take more. I had been told, over and over, that if I lived by the principles I had been taught, it would all pay off. I don't know if I believe in it anymore. Any of it." *** Have you ever experienced moments of lost time? An eerie sense of Deja-vu? Most people have, it can be fairly common. For Fawn, however, that feeling seems to go a little deeper. She finds herself waking up in clothes she didn't put on. Noticing things in places she swore she didn't put them. Hours, sometimes even days, lost to her. She begins to wonder... is this normal? The answer to that question may be one she doesn't truly want to find. There's a game being played, one Fawn never knew she signed up for; And her opponent isn't one to play nice. Can Fawn win this game, fair and square? Or will she have to make a Foul Play? *** Ms.Witch *** Created (December) 2024 & Completed () 2025Complete
Elizabeth
Some things are never meant to happen the way that they happen. Some things are not supposed to break the way they break, but we are not in charge of this earth. We cannot oversee how things are fixed and how they break. We are only capable of putting the pieces back together...mending broken hearts and healing empty souls. Why him? They ask her constantly. Why the heartless man to comfort the hurting soul? Because, she always responds, even after countless mood swings, crazy demands, constant reassurance, and stupid arguments, he never gave up on her. Why her? They would ask her every time. He'd respond the same. Because I don't want to court her in bed. I want to love her in life. Polar opposites attract. Elizabeth and Romeo attract. They just want to love each other in life through the pain, the agony, the abuse, the depression, the anxiety, the mafia, the breaking, the fixing, the helping, the hurting. It's just love at the end of the day.Complete
Tumor Love
Sometimes life don't go the way we planned. Sometimes we end up feeling so low, and alone. Like we're in a dark hole with no one around us, but then suddenly there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And I guess what I'm trying to say is.. You're my light, the one who helped me through the worst time in my life - And for that, I am thankful. I'm thankful that I met you, but I also hate you. I hate what you did to me, because you made me fall in love.. And then my world fell apart once again. [WARNING!! Contains mature themes, and languageComplete
Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy
The average human being spends every second of his day fighting against the force of nature to see another day. But I'm different. I'm not afraid of outside forces to take my life away - only myself. Approximately 10 years ago, something happened to me. Something really bad. But I'm not allowed to talk about it. As a way to release my frustration, I give hell to my body and everyone I come in contact with - especially my parents. No one knows about what happened except the ones who did it...and Him. But he didn't stay. Now, he's back and he's not talking either. I want to stop hurting, I need to stop. Make me stop.Complete
Fix Me, I'm Broken
Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED © 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®Complete
Star Beings
I thought I was normal. That's what I was always led to believe anyways. But then one day a portal opened up in my closet and someone yanked me onto the other side. Now I'm stuck in a different world where apparently magic exists and I'm one of the ten people who can use all forms of it. Crazy, right? A two weeks ago I was a depressed 14 year old kid from Texas. Now I'm a confused and depressed 14 year old from Texas that has magic abilities I can barley control. Funny how quickly things can go from "meh, my life kinda sucks" to "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!" in a matter of seconds. Now I have to end a freaking war. I only have one question really. What did I get myself into by being born???Complete
The New American Dream
"I see the world and it seems like I see it so differently than most other people. It makes me really angry most of the time. Especially since no one ever listens to me or what I've got to say. I try to express myself in so many different ways and no one sees it. When I sing a song people will only care about how the music sounds or how much I swore. If I paint, people will see the picture but not the meaning. It seems so obvious to me but everyone just seems to... close their eyes. Or at least shut off their brain. As if I see things they don't. But when they don't listen, how can I communicate that to them? It's so frustrating." Allie is a high school student and has big plans to make the world a better place. But her own head is pitting against her, throwing rocks in her path on a daily basis. Everything seems to be great for a while but what happens when her world suddenly comes crashing down around her? Can she ever recover? A coming-of-age story that deals with mental ilnesses, grief, first loves and family, briefly taps into the subject of religion and will likely enrapture you. Trigger warning: mental illnesses, self harm, death, dealing with grief, mentions of guns and gun control, mentions of cults, mentions of homophobia, dissociation. Names of bands, band members and song titles have been changed but at this point I want to credit mainly Palaye Royale, the band 'Homesick Soldiers' that is mentioned throughout is heavily based off them, but I'm sure if you're familiar with them you would have been able to tell that :)Complete
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionComplete
For years, I've been writing in silence, creating worlds, characters, and stories that lived only in the margins of my notebooks and tucked-away folders on my computer. Writing has always been my escape, something I've done for myself-a way to step out of reality for a moment and breathe through the lives of the people I've imagined. I've written and rewritten countless stories, always hesitant to share them, never quite confident enough to let anyone else peek into the depths of my mind. It's always felt like just a hobby, something personal, something safe. But deep down, I've carried a quiet dream of becoming a writer, even though it felt a little foolish to hope for something so big. Now, after pouring myself into this story for what feels like a lifetime, I've finally done it-I've uploaded all my chapters to Wattpad, sharing this piece of me with the world. I know I still have so much to learn, and I'm always striving to get better, but I would truly appreciate any feedback-good, constructive criticism that can help me grow. This is just the beginning, but it feels like a huge step forward. Thank you for taking a chance on this book. Whatever brought you here, whether it was curiosity, a recommendation, or just a moment of wandering, I am truly grateful.
More detailsContent Guidelines