![[insert title]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/244957967-256-k168032.jpg)
[insert title]
- Reads 20
- Votes 0
- Parts 2
TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM/SUICIDE/ABUSE
When your mind is your worst enemy, who do you trust? I don't trust my own voice. Is it really mine? Am I even here? Can you see me? Can you hear me? Do I exist? I don't trust my own hands. I don't trust anything that tells me it will all be okay. I don't belong in my body and I am just floating as my body takes control and tries to protect me from me. Is everything a façade? Is this a game? An illusion? Am I trapped? Can I get out? Can't I just have a normal life with some friends, a bit of sadness, a bit of joy and just a little bit of crazy? Why is everything so extreme? Why do I feel so intensely? My existence is a mirage. I am stuck in a loop and I don't know how to get out of it. I tell myself it is alright but the voice tells me it is not. It tells me that I am faking it. It tells me that I am a liar. It tells me I crave attention. It tells me that everything happening to me is just an act. I believe it and forget to believe myself. Every action is filled with doubt. Is this me? Is this what I would do? Or am I just pretending to be someone else? My hands turned against me last night. I tried to stop them but I think they had had enough. They choked my throat as I struggled to scream. I begged two helping hands to hold me down. They did but how do I forget what I did? How do I forget when I don't even know if I exist anymore? How do you know it is you when all you are is a name?
All Rights Reserved
#365
borderlinepersonalitydisorder
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
The Daily Life of Ana James
I wish to be a butterfly. Free to do whatever I want. To fly where I wish. But I can't. I can't do this because of something that happened about three years a go. Someone that I trusted betrayed me. Now I find it hard to trust people- to even trust myself. It's hard because now trust, to me, is linked to bad experiences But what if, you could trust someone and not regret it? What if, someone made your life better? Not necessarily because of the words they said, or the actions they did- but because of their presence- Their very presence was enough to make you feel happier.Complete
Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionComplete
Foul Play
**WARNING** ~contains explicit content that may not be acceptable to all viewers. discretion advised~ "The question, 'why shouldn't I?' played on a loop in my head. I was fed up with biting my tongue and walking the so-called straight and narrow. It had gotten me nothing but misfortune. People walked all over me because I showed them that it was possible. They say to be kind. To love. To live your life purely. Not to expect anything in return. Why then, did it seem like all anyone wanted was to take from me? Take and take and take until there was nothing left, and even then, try to take more. I had been told, over and over, that if I lived by the principles I had been taught, it would all pay off. I don't know if I believe in it anymore. Any of it." *** Have you ever experienced moments of lost time? An eerie sense of Deja-vu? Most people have, it can be fairly common. For Fawn, however, that feeling seems to go a little deeper. She finds herself waking up in clothes she didn't put on. Noticing things in places she swore she didn't put them. Hours, sometimes even days, lost to her. She begins to wonder... is this normal? The answer to that question may be one she doesn't truly want to find. There's a game being played, one Fawn never knew she signed up for; And her opponent isn't one to play nice. Can Fawn win this game, fair and square? Or will she have to make a Foul Play? *** Ms.Witch *** Created (December) 2024 & Completed () 2025Complete
Fix Me, I'm Broken
Walking into an empty house is normal to me. I guess I got tired of saying 'I'm home' when nobody is home to reply. It wasn't always like this. I remember when our family was close. Now we don't see each other any more. We don't talk to each other. We don't eat with each other. We don't ACKNOWLEDGE each other. This all happened after my 'Mother' killed herself. My father blames me. This is my story about how I learned to not count on anyone else but myself. I'm broken. I'm used. No one can fix me. But when the New Boy in town tries to fix me, everything will change. Good change or Bad change, I don't know. Only time will tell. I want to enter this story in the #Wattys2015 please help me out and vote and comment on my story. I'll really appreciate it!!! #Wattys2015 COPYRIGHTED © 2014 BY Anallely ALL RIGHTS RESERVED ®Complete
In Love With Blindfolds On
I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?Complete
Elizabeth
Some things are never meant to happen the way that they happen. Some things are not supposed to break the way they break, but we are not in charge of this earth. We cannot oversee how things are fixed and how they break. We are only capable of putting the pieces back together...mending broken hearts and healing empty souls. Why him? They ask her constantly. Why the heartless man to comfort the hurting soul? Because, she always responds, even after countless mood swings, crazy demands, constant reassurance, and stupid arguments, he never gave up on her. Why her? They would ask her every time. He'd respond the same. Because I don't want to court her in bed. I want to love her in life. Polar opposites attract. Elizabeth and Romeo attract. They just want to love each other in life through the pain, the agony, the abuse, the depression, the anxiety, the mafia, the breaking, the fixing, the helping, the hurting. It's just love at the end of the day.Complete
Locked In
You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.Complete
Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardComplete
I wish to be a butterfly. Free to do whatever I want. To fly where I wish. But I can't. I can't do this because of something that happened about three years a go. Someone that I trusted betrayed me. Now I find it hard to trust people- to even trust myself. It's hard because now trust, to me, is linked to bad experiences But what if, you could trust someone and not regret it? What if, someone made your life better? Not necessarily because of the words they said, or the actions they did- but because of their presence- Their very presence was enough to make you feel happier.
More detailsContent Guidelines