![[insert title]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/244957967-256-k168032.jpg)
[insert title]
- Прочтений 19
- Голосов 0
- Частей 2
В процессе<5 min
Last published суб, окт. 24, 2020
TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM/SUICIDE/ABUSE
When your mind is your worst enemy, who do you trust? I don't trust my own voice. Is it really mine? Am I even here? Can you see me? Can you hear me? Do I exist? I don't trust my own hands. I don't trust anything that tells me it will all be okay. I don't belong in my body and I am just floating as my body takes control and tries to protect me from me. Is everything a façade? Is this a game? An illusion? Am I trapped? Can I get out? Can't I just have a normal life with some friends, a bit of sadness, a bit of joy and just a little bit of crazy? Why is everything so extreme? Why do I feel so intensely? My existence is a mirage. I am stuck in a loop and I don't know how to get out of it. I tell myself it is alright but the voice tells me it is not. It tells me that I am faking it. It tells me that I am a liar. It tells me I crave attention. It tells me that everything happening to me is just an act. I believe it and forget to believe myself. Every action is filled with doubt. Is this me? Is this what I would do? Or am I just pretending to be someone else? My hands turned against me last night. I tried to stop them but I think they had had enough. They choked my throat as I struggled to scream. I begged two helping hands to hold me down. They did but how do I forget what I did? How do I forget when I don't even know if I exist anymore? How do you know it is you when all you are is a name?
Все права сохранены
#318
borderlinepersonalitydisorder
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
Вам также может понравиться
Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardЗавершенная история
Star Beings
I thought I was normal. That's what I was always led to believe anyways. But then one day a portal opened up in my closet and someone yanked me onto the other side. Now I'm stuck in a different world where apparently magic exists and I'm one of the ten people who can use all forms of it. Crazy, right? A two weeks ago I was a depressed 14 year old kid from Texas. Now I'm a confused and depressed 14 year old from Texas that has magic abilities I can barley control. Funny how quickly things can go from "meh, my life kinda sucks" to "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!" in a matter of seconds. Now I have to end a freaking war. I only have one question really. What did I get myself into by being born???Завершенная история
The New American Dream
"I see the world and it seems like I see it so differently than most other people. It makes me really angry most of the time. Especially since no one ever listens to me or what I've got to say. I try to express myself in so many different ways and no one sees it. When I sing a song people will only care about how the music sounds or how much I swore. If I paint, people will see the picture but not the meaning. It seems so obvious to me but everyone just seems to... close their eyes. Or at least shut off their brain. As if I see things they don't. But when they don't listen, how can I communicate that to them? It's so frustrating." Allie is a high school student and has big plans to make the world a better place. But her own head is pitting against her, throwing rocks in her path on a daily basis. Everything seems to be great for a while but what happens when her world suddenly comes crashing down around her? Can she ever recover? A coming-of-age story that deals with mental ilnesses, grief, first loves and family, briefly taps into the subject of religion and will likely enrapture you. Trigger warning: mental illnesses, self harm, death, dealing with grief, mentions of guns and gun control, mentions of cults, mentions of homophobia, dissociation. Names of bands, band members and song titles have been changed but at this point I want to credit mainly Palaye Royale, the band 'Homesick Soldiers' that is mentioned throughout is heavily based off them, but I'm sure if you're familiar with them you would have been able to tell that :)Завершенная история
Catastrophically Carla (Lesbian Story)
Ages 14+ (lesbian concepts and some profanity) This is not your everyday love story, okay? It's not a chick flick either. The events and themes within my pages have meaning, depth, truth-and most of all, reality. You are about to be taken on an adventure about a girl who's life is not like everybody else's. I look like a normal teen girl, I mean, I have hair and two eyes and two hands and feet like everybody else, but I couldn't feel more different. I have two moms, yes. Let's just get that out there before you start reading and close my diary like everyone in my life has shut me out of theirs. All I want is a normal life with normal friends who don't judge me because of my home situation. I don't even remember the last time I went on a sleepover or called somebody my age. I don't mean to be a downer, because it does get better. Life gets better. Struggles are only temporary, I know that now. And by my last words reach your eyes, I've come a long way, and have grown to see potential in myself. I'm sharing this with you because I want to make a difference. I know now that I'm not the only one in the world that feels alone. I've been there, done that, and there's more loneliness to come, but for now, I feel more prepared for it. I know how it feels to sit by yourself at lunch every day and how it feels to watch others go to prom with dates and feel like shit because you don't think you'd even have any friends to go with. Please ready my diary. I am much older now, and much more wiser, and I can't wait for you to realize the potential in yourself, too.Завершенная история
Tumor Love
Sometimes life don't go the way we planned. Sometimes we end up feeling so low, and alone. Like we're in a dark hole with no one around us, but then suddenly there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And I guess what I'm trying to say is.. You're my light, the one who helped me through the worst time in my life - And for that, I am thankful. I'm thankful that I met you, but I also hate you. I hate what you did to me, because you made me fall in love.. And then my world fell apart once again. [WARNING!! Contains mature themes, and languageЗавершенная история
If I Try (Lesbian Story)
My life in ruins, this is where I'm at currently. I was living a lie, lying to people and most importantly to myself. You can act straight all you want, you can try to convince yourself that, but no matter how hard you try. The truth is always revealed. What did I do? I stroked her face, and told her she was still beautiful, then I bent down and kissed her. One of those soft, yet deep, gut wrenching, I'll always love you, but I have to let you go, goodbye kisses. Then I rested my forehead on hers and closed my eyes. I saw the past that we had, all of the memories we had together, I took them in, I felt the feelings again, I processed them. Then I saw the dreams that we dreamed for our future, I saw all of our plans that we made, I felt them, I felt the pain of what would never be, and then I released it all. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt her hand graze over the tears. I opened my eyes, blinked away the tears I had left, and smiled. She returned my smile. We knew at that point that no matter what happened, we would be ok.............. This is my struggle, this is my journey. Join me for the ride, but make sure you wear your helmet.Завершенная история
TOXIC REWIND
"We were never meant to last... but we couldn't stay away." They met in high school-young, reckless, and hopelessly in love. When it all fell apart, they thought that was the end. But some love stories refuse to stay buried. When they find their way back to each other, it isn't the fairytale they once dreamed of. Love turns toxic, passion turns destructive, and together, they become the worst versions of themselves. How far will they go before they finally break for good? Or is this the kind of love that never really dies, no matter how much it burns?Завершенная история
Will You Keep My All?
*UNEDITED* There's always been a secret in someone's life. A past that wants to forget and make a new start. Too hurt to say goodbye. Too painful to show the tears. What will you do when you watch the person you love the most, the sole reason you found another light in your dark life-is accepting a man's hands for marriage? What will you do to avoid of getting more hurt from that sight when she's kissing a man instead of you? What will you do once your heart finally stop beating for someone as it turned cold? No more tears to form, no more reason to smile. "Will you keep my all? Because I am tired of keeping mine,"Завершенная история
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard
ПодробнееТребования к контенту