Hey, girl
You lookin' good
I hope this doesn't come off as uh, too inappropriate, but (Ha)
You got that yummy yum
You're a ooey gooey yummy yummy tasty little snack
I'ma hit it from the back, hit it from the back, babe
You're a chewy chunky gummy wummy tasty little treat
Put this record on repeat
Listen while you sleep, baby
Baby you're a princess
Ooh, you look delicious
Make me wanna chef's kiss (Mwah, mwah, mwah) (Yummy)
Body like a dead fish
Face like scrambled eggs, bitch
That's a balance breakfast (Yeah, yeah, wah)
I know just what you wanna hear (wanna hear)
You're lookin like lasagna, and you know you make me wanna ooh
Make all your problems disappear (disappear)
You look like ravioli and I got the formuoli, babe
You my ooey gooey yummy yummy tasty little snack
I'ma hit it from the back, hit it from the back, babe
You're a chewy chunky gummy wummy tasty little treat
Put this record on repeat
Listen while you sleep, baby
Damn you lookin' sweet, babe (sweet, babe)
Good enough to eat, babe (eat babies)
So I'ma eat your feet babe
Eat your feet, and for dessert
I'ma eat your shirt (eat your fuckin' shirt)
Hey, you know what would be kinda fun? (What?)
Let's all game the billboard charts
To make this #1 (That'd be really fun!)
Why won't the paparazzi leave me be? (Come on!)
Please just treat me like a person
I'm not a piece of meat
You're a ooey gooey yummy yummy tasty little snack
I'ma hit it from the back, hit it from the back, babe
You're a chewy chunky gummy wummy tasty little treat
Put this record on repeat
Listen while you sleep, (Interserve)
You're a scrumptious little spicy hot tamale in my mouth
Way too spicy, spicy ouch
Had to spit it out, babe
You're a crazy fuckin' horse that's on the run from the police
Crazy horse don't hurt me, please
Beggin' on my knees, baby
(Crazy horse don't hurt me, please)
What law did this horse break?
How To Be The Best Third Wheel is now published as a Paperback & E-book by Wattpad Books!
As a Wattpad reader, you can also now access the Original Edition for free and the Wattpad Books Published Edition here upon purchase.
It's the last year of high school, and everything has changed . . .
*****
After a summer spent in the Philippines, Lara Dela Cruz is eager to start her senior year and, most importantly, reunite with her three besties. But what she did not expect was to show up on the first day of school to all three of her friends now in relationships. Fighting for their attention, catching some new and confusing feelings for long-time frenemy James, and wading through the pressures of post-high-school plans all have Lara reeling. And to make matters worse, Lara's beautiful and untrustworthy cousin conveniently appears and wiggles her way right between her and James' budding relationship. Feeling like a third wheel in more ways than one, Lara must learn to accept that change is inevitable, love is complicated, and being the odd one out is sometimes where inner power is found.
[[Word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]
Cover design by Jill Caldwell
Wattys 2020 YA fiction Winner
Wattpad Books Prize Winner