Isn't bad be me - SyeEd323 - Wattpad

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Isn't bad be me

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autoestima depression english love self-improvement

Depression is something that over the years I have realized that it is more than a mental illness, it is a friend who never lets go of you, it is the person who seems to finally overcome and from nowhere comes back to your life, it is a load.

And no one deserves to have this burden with them, I had depression for 7 years of my life, I tried to commit suicide several times, life is not easy I can assure you, but I am here to explain my story, what happened, each person is different, each person is unique, maybe what worked for me may work for you, but you'll never know if you don't try.

Are you ready to start this journey with me?All Rights Reserved

autoestima depression english love self-improvement

Table of contents

Chapter 1
Thu, Oct 22, 2020

1 part

Chapter 1
Thu, Oct 22, 2020

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Family Comes First by CRAZY40429

Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. ___ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! ____ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021

After Senior Year. by livingwithlen

June 30th, 2014. My life has always been a mess. From bullies constantly pushing me to the ground to my family pulling me in so many directions I begin to fall apart. This isn't just about all the terrible things I've dealt with, but also the amazing times I've had. Late nights out with my friends and great laughs reading my favorite books past sunrise. This is my life journal after I graduated. It's filled with some normal and not so normal everyday struggles. If your life isn't story worthy are you sure you're living it right?

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy by Beautiful_Tragedy8

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014

Broken Promises by Worthlessbeing

"The most beautiful people are the ones who know defeat. Who are best friends with suffering. Who know struggle, who know loss, and who have found their own way out of their rock bottom. They have an appreciation, a sensitivity, an understanding of the purpose of life. They fill people with compassion, with love, with kindness." Its been over a year since Alice tried to kill herself. After a long journey, she found her strength.

Addict In Black ✔ by whoscountinganyway

USER SERIES 1 Micah Rex: He's handsome, dangerous, reckless. An addict. When he walks into a room, people notice. People are scared of him, people don't look him in the eye. AJ Ferro: She's cute, nice respectful. A helper. When she walks in a room, people usually get flowers. People love her, people want to be her friend. Despite her cheery nature and soft words AJ has never had it easy when it came to addiction -or depression. Without his addiction, sadness and anger Micah doesn't know who he is -and he hates not knowing things. And, of all places, they meet at a rehab center. He looked at her and saw a peppy girl with no future. She looked at him and saw a troubled boy with a bad past. Micah wants to die, AJ wants him to live. It's only a matter of time before one of them breaks through or breaks the other. - I was 12 the first time I took a hit off a joint at a party, smoked a blunt by myself and bought a bong. I was 13 when I started drinking alcohol for fun. 14 the first time I took ecstasy at a college party I snuck into, the same age I lost my virginity. This was the first time I went to a mental institution because it's also the year I first tried to kill myself. 15 the first time I smoked meth, took a bump of cocaine, shot myself up with heroine. This was the first time I got sent to rehab, it didn't work and I came out worse. I was 16 when I tried to commit three times in the same year, the last time I got my heart to stop for 30 seconds. That year was also the first time I snorted Hydrocodone, getting me started in opiates, I experimented with Xanax and liked it. And I was a month from 17 when I got sober. - "Fuck you." I snap. "You already have." Micah bites out. "And I'm pretty fucking sure you liked it too, if your orgasms were anything to go by." - "I want-" Micah stopped, running his fingers through his hair. "Never mind what I want. What do you want?" His voice is quieter now, more gentle. "You."

Levels of Stress by PhantasticalDisco

Pain. Depression, anxiety, insomnia, panic disorder - it wasn't a lonely feeling, but one that wouldn't hesitate to rip your heart open. I know that personally. It's always been difficult to tell people. I can't tell my friends, my family, and certainly not therapists. That's why I've created a system that I call my 'Levels of Stress' and have saved my 10... that is up until now. ***Warning: contains triggers, graphic violence, and a lot of deep, raw emotions. It has parts of entries from my journal during my worst period, the parts that I never thought about sharing until I realized how I could relate it to others.***

Beneath The Surface by rainxroses

I'm falling... Falling, helplessly and inevitably; completely at the mercy of the forces dragging me down. Having to trust in an entity's blind intentions and praying to God that they won't let me hit the ground. It's an incredible and horrifying feeling. A feeling that I live for. And I have realized that having something to live for makes you all the more scared of dying. (Constant uploads, and even more editing to older uploads)

It Wasn't Love ✔️ by depressedbrit

"Fuck." He whispers into my neck, sending a thrill of excitement through my body. His lips still smothered kisses over my neck and his hands roamed my body, starting at my chest, going down to my stomach. Caressing my soft skin, his thumb trailed circles on my groin before slightly slipping into the waistband of my jeans. My breath catches in my throat as I pull at the hoodie that covered his chiselled body. Understanding, Jacob pulls it off in one swift movement before attaching his lips back on my neck. Sucking and biting it before flicking his tongue over the sore spot. A quiet moan leaves my mouth and I clasp my hand over it, denying any noise to escape. "You drive me fucking crazy, Aria." ---------------------------- Aria Bailey finds it hard to fit in. Her parents are always busy and never have time for her. She lives alone at her family home and has top grades in all of her classes. But being a 17 year old friendless nerd comes with its disadvantages. The bullying gets worse every single day, driving her to self harm and suicidal thoughts. Aria learns more about popular boy, Jacob Rickson and starts developing feelings for the well known 18 year old. Jacob helps her come out of her shell and learn to be more comfortable and confident. Aria has to make a tough decision by choosing if she would rather be with Jacob and be bullied by her mind for eternity, or to leave and be left alone, exactly how she wants to be. -Strangers to lovers -Right person, wrong time

Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

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Slide 1 of 9

Family Comes First cover

After Senior Year. cover

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy cover

Broken Promises cover

Addict In Black ✔ cover

Levels of Stress cover

Beneath The Surface cover

It Wasn't Love ✔️ cover

Cold Water cover

Family Comes First

Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. _ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! __ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021