Barkley Bohner, Celebrity Philosopher

The reality field is in a state of collapse. A celebrity philosopher has 44 hours to save the world.

Barkley Bohner is in great demand as an authority on things he knows absolutely nothing about. He can trace his family history to the very first Barkley Bohner, hero of the Battle of Hastings, who met his end in an indoor hunting accident. In recent generations, the women of the family have allowed their men to live, as sort of a controlled experiment. Now Barkley's two current wives and daughter are about to bring that experiment to a peremptory close.

Barkley's only hope is Moosh, a streetwise New York City police detective he encounters while hiding out in Ungentrified Harlem. Together, the two must solve a quantum puzzle, untangle nine centuries of family history, clear up a few misunderstandings, and stay alive long enough to reset reality to whatever may pass for normal.

Then Nikola Tesla turns up in his old New Yorker hotel room, seventy years into his future, a bullet hole in his forehead. Barkley and Moosh are going to miss their deadline.