yamaguchi had been bullied his whole life, and abused in multiple ways at home by parents who were always either drunk, high, or stoned. he was depressed. his parents moved and he had transfer schools to get away from the bullying, but had turned to drugs, cigarettes' and alcohol to help. he cuts and tries to stay as distant as possible. but being paired up with a certain blonde changes his life. this book has multiple trigger warnings, like smoking, rape, abuse, drinking, bullying, self harm, drug use, and possibly more. only read if you are comfortable reading these things. This is an AU where they dont have vollyball. Like the club dosent exist, but everyone on the team is still there.