Nicks Messed Up Diary
- Reads 54
- Votes 6
- Parts 4
Ongoing9m
Last published Wed, Nov 25, 2020
Welcome to Nicks Messed Up Diary. The main goal of this is to not only introduce readers to the kind of person I am but for people to enter my mind and express my emotions, for readers to be able to connect with what they fear the most by speaking what others cant put into words. I not only tend to share my life which was full of constant affliction at some point but to also share a peace of my genius, a part of my scuffle with the not only the outside world but my inner self.
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#34
anguish
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![[SILENT SYSTEM]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/162644614-256-k104342.jpg)
[SILENT SYSTEM]
||A/N: Will update from time to time. . . ( High chance of being discontinued.) || Credit to original artist- I've only made a pastel edit with it...|| _______________________ Like any typical transmigration novel, a person will die in the hands of death before being given a system with unique personality. Given task missions in order to return to the original world. The host would either complete the world in success or fail the missions given only to be transferred into a punishment world. That was what Lucielle thought what would've happened if he encountered the situation after death but he was wrong, very...wrong. Who knew that Lucielle would be cursed once he died, lifeless on the ground? No one did. Lucielle was just one of those unlucky individuals who shouldn't have been touched in the first place. ___________________________________________ [- - -Cannot unlock fluent language ability- - -] '???' 'Didn't you say I could choose anything?' [System rechecking database...] [ . . . ] [Host, it has been confirmed, I asked the higher ups after rechecking your data base for any faults...It seems that you may have caught an unfortunate curse, to the point where Host cannot speak...Host, you are mute in this case] '. . .' -------------------------Complete
From The Heart
Do you know the times when you want to say something, but can't? Or the times when you are sad and need someone to give you a hug? The times your worst enemy hugs your boyfriend? Or the times you are so angry you punch a locker and have to pay to get it repaired? Well with writing my thoughts, passions, anger triggers, enemies, love, hatred, even happiness out for people. Makes me feel like someone can relate to me and I can impact them in any simple or complex way they deem fit. I write because I can and I become free with every word written from my mind, every letter and messed up grammar I have accidentally committed to butchering every time I write. I may not make a difference, heck, I may not even have a lot of people who read but those who do read when I write about how I thought up a story plot or something for my best friend, they will always make me feel like I'm making the difference because someone actually read what I thought at a certain time and day and maybe even listened. That's what makes me feel wanted and happy like I can do something other than run my stubborn mouth and have a mother hen personality. That is what will continue as I write. fortunately, the thing is no one can take it away either, and that my readers are what makes the mind a great thing.Complete
Mixture of Pain
We all go through ups and downs in life! Some of them we can understand while others we just pretend....never even existed! I would love for you to join me and these amazing characters as we unpack their life's into ours. Somebody's situation is always worst then yours.Complete
Collapse: Book Two (bxb) ✔️
Book Two of Five in the New Beginnings Series. **You do NOT have to read Inhale, Exhale, & Breathe to enjoy these stories** SALEM LUNA: Does anyone ever feel like they're riding a mechanical bull that is never ending? No matter how many times you get thrown off the thing, you appear right back on it? No? Just me then? See, I have this best friend. Former. Best. Friend. It's taking my brain a while to get used to it. Whatever. I'm hopelessly in love with him, and I tried desperately to admit my feelings out loud. So, I did. Raven Fox told me not to love him, and the look he seared into my skin when he said it was now branded into my brain. Now we're on the university book club Christmas retreat. Who did I get roomed with? Raven because of course I was given the bird. The damn bird that didn't love me in return. Which would have been fine had he not looked like the idea disgusted him. Six months have gone by since that day, and our tension is growing with more animosity each second. Now, we're doing activities together, and Christmas is my favorite holiday. He's not screwing this up for me. After a snowstorm starts hitting, though, I end up stuck in the middle of nowhere, out of gas in my snowmobile. I'm terrified as the wind starts picking up and snow starts whipping my face. I thought he wasn't listening. That he didn't care. So, why did he become the one to save me? Why does he look so distraught? His words say one thing, but his eyes are telling me his words are lies. Raven is lying to me. He loves me. But he doesn't want me to love him. All I want to know is why because I can't breathe without him anymore.Complete
Edelweiss || Bucky x Reader
"A gift." One guard says to someone else in the room as he leaves. I groan in pain and scrunch myself into a ball, squeezing my eyes shut. Seconds later I hear shuffling and then someone is beside me. "Y/N?" Asks a voice. No- Bucky's voice. My whole body relaxes and I let out a soft breath. He's ok. ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ Staying together has always been the most important thing to Y/N Rogers. After the death of her mother left her an orphaned 15-year-old, her friendship with her older brother Steve and best friend Bucky mattered more than ever. She latched onto them, finding some bittersweet solace in their closeness. In turn, they finished raising her. The three were inseparable. Even now, six years later, nothing has changed. So when Bucky and Steve both leave to fight in the war the last thing she's going to do is stay in Brooklyn. Nothing's too far if it keeps their trio together. Not leaving everything she knows behind, not shoving down feelings she's refused to acknowledge for years, not even risking her life time and time again. It's the kind of commitment fueled by an infinite amount of love, but guaranteed to end in disaster, every single time. BOOK ONE IN THE EDELWEISS SERIES BOOK TWO: I WATCHED THE SKY CRUMBLE - #1 in hydra (7/5/21) - #1 in marvelsmut (8/7/21) - #5 in hurtcomfort (8/2/21) - #5 in marvelfanfiction (8/2/21) - #12 in buckybarnes (8/7/21) CONTENT WARNINGS: graphic torture, violence, death, loss of identity, themes surrounding sexual assault and predatory sexual behavior between adults, sexual themes, brief anxiety, PTSD, smut, ANGST, swearing. Please feel free to point out typos! (Just be polite about it)- also please keep in mind before passing judgment that this entire book was written over the course of my 8th grade school year Started - October 2020 Finished - July 2021 (Being edited) All characters and events (other than ones of my own creation) belong to Marvel.Complete
Convalescence (MxM)
**WARNING** ~contains explicit content that may not be acceptable to all viewers. discretion advised~ THIS STORY HAS TWO ENDINGS- CLEARLY LABELED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE. PICK ONE OR READ BOTH. Thanks! <3 con·va·les·cence noun a period of rest; recovery. The anxiety tore through Blake like a kind friend with a gentle reminder. He could never truly Escape. He thought, with Callin dead and his past behind him, he could finally move on. But would that ever be the case? Blake's thoughts were pummeling deeper and deeper into a deeply twisted place in his mind, going back to the days when he lived in the dark and had to scheme to survive. Ammon watched as Blake slowly came undone from the seams. He seemed to enjoy watching Blake fall apart. Why is that? Why does everyone seem to enjoy it when Blake lets go of his sanity? Having to face the reality that his life would likely always be a fight. He would always have to kill. * DISCLAIMER- In this story world, each person gets five potential mates! Blake met two in the first book and one in the second, making three in total. By the end of this book, Blake has met four of the five! * Blake Daniels' story has been one tragedy after another, Complications littering his route, tripping him on his journey through life. At this point, he's entirely disgusted by his Complacency. For as long as he can remember, he has been at the whim of everyone's desires, neglecting his own. This left him wondering: what it is he wants? Could it be the sweet relief of death? Escape? Or simple Convalescence? *** ~Ms.Witch *** FINAL BOOK IN THE ~Escape~ SERIES! Book 1: ~Complications~ Original: Created- 2015, Completed- 2016 Rewrite: Created (October) & Completed (December)- 2023 Book 2: ~Complacency~ Created (January) & Completed (March)- 2024 Book 3: ~Convalescence~ Original: Created (April) & Completed (May)- 2024 New Ending Version: Created (August) & Completed (October)- 2025 Thanks for reading!Complete
𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐻𝑦𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑎 | 𝐁.𝐄.
"Its been one year and eight months since, and now all of a sudden you bring her up, why now? Out of all days?" I ask Jake sincerely. "I can see the act your putting up in front of everyone. The recklessness and all. You can get away with all of that with everyone else, but you can't fool me Bil," Jake tells me concerningly. "Why does it matter? I moved on, I have Drew. I'm not stuck on her anymore. Clearly - I've proven that by now," I say to Jake. "Do you mean that sincerely?" Jake asks me. I huff before looking back at Jake. "Yes. I do," I say to him truthfully. "Alright well. Finneas decided that it was best that I'd break the news to you," Jake says before sitting up in his seat. I look at him with my eyebrows furrowed, and suddenly a deep trench of anxiety forms in the pit of my stomach. "What is it?" I ask him. He hesitates before speaking. "Lilith is coming back to LA to work on the stage crew," Jake says. My eyes slightly widen. Fuck. ~~~ A year has gone by and now Lilith is back. Although a reunion is coming up, a year can change a person drastically, and as they say, change is inevitable. Will Lilith be able to reconnect with Billie? Or is it seemingly hopeless? Will Lilith finally remember Billie? Or did change form Lilith into a completely different person? ~~~ (This is the Second Book to the first book called 'Sweet Belladonna'. I highly recommend you go back to read the first one before continuing on reading this one, or else you'll be majorly confused.) ~~~ AU (Alternate Universe); Though some characters are real, this is fiction. Keep that in mind. Will contain explicit language, depression, anxiety episodes, violence, smoking, drinking, trauma, drugs, and real-life events that occur. +18 Votes and Comments help me a ton, so please feel free to do so.
Voices in My Head
Pain. Agonizing pain. That's all I feel. Voices. Whispering voices. That's all I hear. I hear them over and over inside of my head. I can't escape. I can't fight back. This is my life. This is my story. And if you can give me your time, I'll tell it to you. *Warning: contains themes of selfharm and mental disorders **Completed as of 7/30/18Complete
Fire series collection (3 books in 1)
Blurb for book 1: 𝐃𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 I messed up - I messed up in typical Dylan fashion because I could never stand up to my Dad, I just couldn't be the Alpha that I was meant to be, that my older brother would have been proud of. Instead I was the Alpha that locked his mate away for a crime that I didn't even know if he actually committed, I thought about rejecting him because he was a man and I'm not gay and I refused to give into the bond and love him back. I felt insecure around Raiden because he's a feline. I was insecure because he's stronger, faster, more dominant and I hated how much my body gave into him - how much my body wanted to submit to him because I'm an Alpha and Alphas don't submit. So I caved and I tainted our bond, I hurt him beyond repair and when I just couldn't deny the bond anymore, I found out just how hard it would actually be to gain his trust back - to get him to want me again. Our bond ended with my mistake but our story began with my redemption.Complete
Excerpts of A Chaotic Mind
Welcome to the inner workings of my mind. The thoughts and emotions I battle and the imaginary scenarios I dream up sometimes. Think of this is as my own public diary. . I will warn there are some themes surrounding mental health, self harming thoughts and actions, and talk of traumatising events. Please check tags for trigger warnings.Complete
||A/N: Will update from time to time. . . ( High chance of being discontinued.) || Credit to original artist- I've only made a pastel edit with it...|| _______________________ Like any typical transmigration novel, a person will die in the hands of death before being given a system with unique personality. Given task missions in order to return to the original world. The host would either complete the world in success or fail the missions given only to be transferred into a punishment world. That was what Lucielle thought what would've happened if he encountered the situation after death but he was wrong, very...wrong. Who knew that Lucielle would be cursed once he died, lifeless on the ground? No one did. Lucielle was just one of those unlucky individuals who shouldn't have been touched in the first place. ___________________________________________ [- - -Cannot unlock fluent language ability- - -] '???' 'Didn't you say I could choose anything?' [System rechecking database...] [ . . . ] [Host, it has been confirmed, I asked the higher ups after rechecking your data base for any faults...It seems that you may have caught an unfortunate curse, to the point where Host cannot speak...Host, you are mute in this case] '. . .' -------------------------
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