This pain stays forever
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  • Reads 6
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 1
  • Time <5 mins
Ongoing, First published Nov 19, 2020
My life is traumatizing.
My life is nothing you should deal with.
My life is nothing.
My life is everything.
You don't know me but you know me better than my closest friends. 
Do you dare reading?
Do you dare feeling?
Do you dare loving?
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Family Comes First by CRAZY40429
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Being alone? Check. Being afraid? Check. Being abused? Check times 3. Honestly, my life wasn't this bad before, not until I ended in foster care... SIKE! My life was always bad. From the moment I was born, I lived with an abusive father who blamed me for my mother's death, and even I couldn't disagree with him. Here are a few questions I am constantly asked: 'Do I do well in school?' No, are you kidding me? The only subject I'm good at is Visual Arts. 'Do I have a kind and caring family?' No, I don't think I do. 'Do I have anyone who cares about me?' No, I'm a loner and socially awkward. 'Do I have privileges?' No, if you haven't understood the message yet, I live in an abusive household. Now, you might ask if there are any questions the answer is yes. I'll give you some. 'Do I want to die?' Yes, I sometimes do. 'Do I feel alone in this world?' Yes, always. 'Do I get a beating every day?' Yes. *** This is Amara Williams, a 13 year-old with average grades and no friends. What happens when her only guardian, her dad, is dead? What happens when she finds out that she has five older brothers who are not only strict and demanding, but also protective assholes? More importantly, what happens when she finds out that she was taught lies from the moment she was born? Follow Amara as she digs deeper into her family history, uncovering the secrets and discovering the lies. ___ ⚠️ Trigger Warning ⚠️ There will be mentions of abuse, r@pe, self harm, death, and many other dark themes. I have given a warning now, and I will give a TW in each chapter when reading for safety reasons. However, I want all of my readers to know what to expect so that they can decided for themselves if they want to read. Read at your own discretion! ____ Highest Rankings: #1 in Rules: Oct. 18. 2020 #1 in Truth: Jan. 16. 2021 #1 in Alcohol: Jun. 18. 2021
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Lost Without You

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The day he ran away was the day I lost myself. I couldn't concentrate on my studies. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. I was... a mess. I lost all sense of life, all sense of feeling. I became numb. and then, one day... everything went black, and I found myself in a field of flowers, all alone. Some say I died of a broken heart. Others say I died because I wasn't taking care of myself. Either way, I was dead. I thought I'd be gone forever, and then, one day, I wake up. I don't know why or how, but I do. And then, he comes back... and I feel whole again. "I was so lost without you."