shitposts.
- Reads 3,433
- Votes 497
- Parts 71
MatureOngoing41m
Last published Tue, Jun 1, 2021
yep. i have a book specifically for shitposts.
Includes Some of my Favorites:
- Soup!
- Funyuns!
- all of us are second-by-second marching toward an inevitable and inescapable painful slow death
- Hot Cheetos!
***cussing, etc.***
All Rights Reserved
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breathe • shitposts #1
i'm afraid of the things in my brain SO HERE THEY ARE LMAO ENJOY FUCKERSComplete
cookie run shitpost oneshots/headcanons
no more updates! thanks for reading gang kiwi has finally reached the breaking point and died making this book of bullshit cookie run didn't deserve this (suggestive mentions but no direct nsfw so its fine- also there's swearing) (this is a SHITPOST book not a romance one xjsnaknakajaka) (cover found from google)Complete
"Moustache Crackers" (PRINGLES MAN X READER)
" No longer a single pringle. " _________________________________ still got to get to 50 chapters so yknow cry about it shit in () next to names are what other names they are called or were known by this is a joke written like its serious 🌚 we need mental help __________ CREDITS: __________ -me for writing it (riggus mc figgus) -willus mc fillus ( https://twitter.com/T04DI_?t=I9Rv4ojV6tzImQIr3EqYLQ&s=08 ) for coming up with the idea and writing tons of lines for it (basically every paragraph that has the words "hot spicy pringles man" in it) -alfibetti mc spaghetti (nerdling mc turdling) for coming up with the title + the line "y/n nibbles on Pringle mans fingers expecting it to taste of crisps" -lolza mc folza for making the scene with Y/N picking up the pringles can and the trailer for the story 👏👏👏 -fungus mc lungus (derrickson) for making the cover -raggidy mc haggidy (cockgobbler) for doing literally nothing but sleeping or something ______________
forever and always +hp
❝𝖶𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋?❞ 𝖺𝗌𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗉𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋. ❝𝖨𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗎𝗌 𝗍𝗈, 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌❞ 𝖺𝗇𝗌𝗐𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗒/𝗇 𝗅/𝗇. 𝖳𝗐𝗈 𝗉𝖾𝗈𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗇𝖾𝗂𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝗐 𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝖿𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝗂𝗍. •ɴᴏ sᴍᴜᴛ •ғʟᴜғғ •ᴀɴɢsᴛ 𝗖𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗯𝘆 𝗺𝗲 !! *I do not own harry potter*Complete
my first choice ~ ron weasley x reader
𝐇𝗲 𝗿𝗮𝗻 𝝾𝘂𝘁 𝝾𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝝾𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝝾𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗹 𝘄𝝾𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺 𝝾𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗶𝗺. 𝐇𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗰𝝾𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁. ･ﾟ:* *:･ 𝖠𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 5𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝖼𝗁𝗂𝖾𝖿 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽, 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝗋𝗎𝗌𝗁 𝗈𝗇.Complete
𝐃 𝐈 𝐕 𝐈 𝐍 𝐄, 𝐝.𝐦
𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄; 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜, 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐦. 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬; 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐀𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬. 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐟𝐨𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐈𝐧 𝐚 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐃𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡.Complete
Spring
Just about a book I wrote when I was 16 and decided to upload it here for shits and giggles. Yep that's pretty much it :3Complete
Banana Bus Squad! (One Shots x-reader)
Welcome to my first one shot book. I've read a lot of one shots and I decided it was my time to write one. If you guys didn't know already, I like the banana bus squad. X-reader or y/n means YOU! Hope you enjoy all the cute, sad, happy, hot, exciting and raging times with the banana bus squad. I will be taking request whenever. REQUEST ARE OPEN! {BEWARE SMUT,FLUFF AND SWEARING! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!}Complete
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐲 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 (Harry Potter x Reader)
☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ (Harry Potter x Fem! Reader) ❝ 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐞'𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡- 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡- 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬. ❞ ϟ 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬... - Swearing - No smut - Mostly fluff - Books-based storyline - A sprinkle of Draco Malfoy ϟ *I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER* STARTED: 18.09.20 FINISHED: 25.10.21Complete
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊║𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐲
!! i stopped writing this a while ago when my harry potter obsession dwindled so this story is unfinished and is now just public proof of my love for fred weasley and my writing at 12-13 years old !! 𝚈/𝚗 𝙰𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚊 𝙱𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔, 𝚊 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢- 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑, 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏, 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝙷𝚊𝚕𝚏-𝙱𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍. 𝙷𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚊𝚗𝚝; 𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚁𝚎𝚖𝚞𝚜, 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚘𝚍𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚢, 𝙲𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚊, 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚂𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚞𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚎, 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝙶𝚛𝚢𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙿𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚈/𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚈/𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝.Complete
i'm afraid of the things in my brain SO HERE THEY ARE LMAO ENJOY FUCKERS
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