fall

I don't know what to do or what not to do anymore. why can't I just fall in love? like other people do? you get to have free hugs free kisses free cuddles going out on a date and blah blah. Why can't I? this world is so unfair I hate this I hate being numb I can't even cry I literally can't feel anything I'm smiling but it is fake I don't know what my real smile looks like I don't know what my giggle, chuckles, laugh sound like. I've heard all of my friends laugh, giggle, chuckle and even saw them smile or turn red because of their crushes, boyfriends/girlfriends. oh I haven't introduce myself I'm Loren call me Ren for short even though my name is not that long and I'm 19 living my let's say... uh weird life kinda worst. and I can't fall in love cause I'm emotionally numb my mom never heard my laugh cause I never did she never saw my real smile so do my dad they never heard me cry. But something change when I met Duke....