Story cover for [[[the wonderful mess that we've made]]] [[[part iii]]] by KayClarkey
[[[the wonderful mess that we've made]]] [[[part iii]]]
  • WpView
    Reads 47,156
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  • WpPart
    Parts 51
  • WpHistory
    Time 1h 18m
  • WpView
    Reads 47,156
  • WpVote
    Votes 3,479
  • WpPart
    Parts 51
  • WpHistory
    Time 1h 18m
Complete, First published Oct 18, 2014
'Lily.' A soft voice said from somewhere in the dark. My head was fuzzy and my body discontented from my brain. But the main thing was I felt no pain. I felt relief. I wasn't in the rubble anymore. I could hear beeps and distant voices. I knew I was safe in hospital. 'Lily, open your eyes.' I knew that voice. A happiness crept over me.

'Dan?' I tried to say but barely a sound left my dry mouth.

'Hey sleepy head.' It took far too much effort to do as I was told, but I eventually opened my eyes to see his beautiful face near mine. He was lying beside me in a hospital bed. The window behind him was dark. I wondered what time or what day it even was. I then noticed one of his hands was stroking my face and the other holding mine. 'You know how to scare me.' He laughed sourly.

'Sorry.' I whispered. 'De ja vu.' I told him. It was just like the time is woken up in hospital all those years ago with Dan beside me. I had so many questions but no brain capacity to ask just yet. I wanted to go back to sleep. And that's what I did.
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I woke to a sudden breeze invading the warmth from the heavy blanket that caressed my skin. Here, alone with my thoughts, the still, calm quiet in the atmosphere is almost painful. I feel suffocated in the clingy, static air. In quiet, still moments like these, I can almost feel Him. I don't know who "Him" is, but I can feel his presence. It's almost calming, especially on fearful, anxiety fueled nights. Usually, he was the strongest when I had a nightmare. The nightmares weren't as common now, but, right after everything happened, I was having them every night. I'd wake up and swear I was drenched in blood, my eyes and lips sticky, my nose filled with the smell of iron and fuel. After everything, that's when Him first came. From there, he just never left. I can usually sense when Him is near. Today, though, his presence is stronger. I can almost feel Him next to me, weighing down the mattress. Some nights, I roll over and imagine how he looks, envision his smile or the sparkle in his eyes. He's never there and I'm left clutching to the thought that he exists, staring into empty air. Tonight, though, I swear I can reach out and touch him. Extending my hand gently, I sweep my hand out into the darkness and meet an inexplicable warmth. A scream rips from my lungs as hands cover my face and two icy blue eyes stare back at me, daring me to speak again. A soft cloth caressed my nose and mouth before I felt myself fade into bed. All Rights Reserved. Contains graphic descriptions of violence and assault. Contains battle scene.
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[[[all of my flaws]]][[[part ii]]]

68 parts Complete

'Lily?' He said quietly. I didn't respond. I hoped he thought I was sleeping. Even though I doubted I'd be getting much sleep. I had far too much on my mind to switch off. I was finding it so hard to concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing when I was so consumed with guilt. Every time he looked at me with those kind blue eyes, all I could think about was how much I must've hurt him. I had walked away without ever looking back, no explanation, nothing but a sorry note. How he could cope without wanting to kill me I'd never know. I guessed the kindest thing I could do was at least stop ignoring him and stop treating him like he'd done something wrong. 'Yeah?' I eventually replied. 'I...' He began. But a long silence hung in the air, as though he was thinking what to say next. 'Good night.' He said with a sigh. Whatever it was he was going to say, I doubted it had been just 'goodnight'. That had been my queue to speak up. But I couldn't. I was still too ashamed of what I'd done to face it.