Journal
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- Parts 15
Lost
I don't know what to feel anymore. I feel like I lost everything once again in my life. I was doing ok after I relapsed on 10/6. I was starting to find better, but he messaged me wanting to talk. I wasn't ready to talk to him. I wasn't ready to even think about him, but he just had to message me. I didn't know what to say at first, I was just kinda lost.
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That day we met at the pub
I was a few drinks in still feeling quite sober when I recieved a message from Jared. I was excited because he finally replied! That was until I saw what he had texted me... In which your good day suddenly takes a major turn... and everything turned disasterous... And right then, that's when you met him... UPDATE: I wrote this when I was young and cringe, so beware... Also English isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes made. Also! This was written far before all the drama, so please keep that in mind... It was written in the end of 2021 and begin 2022 Rewriting will be starting soonComplete
39 Days
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BOOK 2: The Invisible (AVSLUTAD)
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The Way We Used to Be
I lost my mom at 11, that's when it started. My dad became a drunk and I was left to take care of my 3-month-old baby sister. Now I'm 23, graduated a few years ago and my sister, now 12, can understand what happened. She never fully understood when I needed someone to and I didn't have many friends that stuck around afterwards. Until I met him. We were friends first, then the feelings got deeper. He asked me to be his girlfriend. He was my first kiss, first date, first real friend, first love, everything. I loved him and I do. I've said it. Now all we do is fight. I don't know why we can't figure things out, but I can't take this fighting. I just want things to go back to the way things were. The way we used to be... Happy, carefree teens that pretended we had the whole world figured out.Complete
~Trust Me ~
"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reservedComplete
Tough Love (Completed)
"Will be there in 20?" The message from Dean reads. My brain says I should text back saying 'I will rip your balls off if you come over' or 'I am not a sex toy, you could come over and use me as and when you please' or at least a simple 'No'. But I don't. I squat next to my bed and pull out the white powder to numb the pain. I told myself that I am done with Dean and I am going to get my life back together. I cleaned up, battled withdrawals and even improved my grades. One text from him and I am snorting coke. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let Dean treat me like trash? Why do I set myself up knowing that it's only a matter of time before he will run back to Sherley leaving me in limbo? Why? l have asked myself the same question a million times but I couldn't come up with an answer that I can use to justify myself. When it came to Dean, I was a masochist. I let him use me and discard me without any fight. Dean was my first Friend. Kiss. Sex. Love. Everything. I wanted to be his everything too. I was his first Friend. Kiss and Sex but Love.. that was Sherley. His family chauffeur's daughter. I want to be a better human and say I didn't hate her. But I am not. I am just human and I hate her with the ferocious of a thousand sun. I hate that she plays him like a fiddle and he dances to it. I hate that they fight for silly reasons and Dean comes running to me. I hate that I let him in even when I know she will reel him back in no time. I hate that he is my weakness and Sherley is his. I wished that my best friend would turn to be my lover. But he just ripped my heart out. It time to let go and move on.Complete
Your Fate (Dark Romance 🥀)
I was living a normal life till one day, a man kidnapped me. I thought he would just be a nice person who stopped me from falling but I realized that im wrong. The worst part is, i think im falling for him but I need to get out of here. As fast as possible. Because he's not a normal kidnapper. He's worse
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I was a few drinks in still feeling quite sober when I recieved a message from Jared. I was excited because he finally replied! That was until I saw what he had texted me... In which your good day suddenly takes a major turn... and everything turned disasterous... And right then, that's when you met him... UPDATE: I wrote this when I was young and cringe, so beware... Also English isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes made. Also! This was written far before all the drama, so please keep that in mind... It was written in the end of 2021 and begin 2022 Rewriting will be starting soon
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