Letter whispers

How do people around sleep so peaceful?
While i am awake like an owl, a fool.
I am awake for days now, trying to hide,
My weird self, googling best way to suicide.
I expressed my feelings to a friend, last week,
He couldn't comprehend, called me freak.
I ask, is this the best day to die,
Let me sleep, i cry.
Do you, like me feel the sound?
Close my eyes, everywhere bright lights found.
At times everything i see expands and shrinks
A white light cutting in to halves, it stings.
I think aimlessly without any rest.
Drown, hang, fall, which option the best.
I am not ashamed that i am different,
All i can think , is of dying, my tempt.
I run run and run to get rid of my thoughts.
Until everything is still and i am lost.
I wander because that makes me alive
I see the water deep, my last dive ?
Violet, was my love,
Her hips had that perfect curve.
She spoke some words of my language,
She was the only solution to my rage.
Death won't let me and hence i go
My epitaph says" searching of great manifesto"