Painful desire [Esdeath x F!reader]

Y/N has been living in the countryside ever since her father died in a war, it has been said that the war against the capital was unfair in many ways. Men were frozen one by one, the defenses were immediately broken. No one returned alive and at that time Y/N was only three years old and her mom was the only family she had left. Moving away further from their hometown Joyous, they moved to the countryside and kept on living. Y/N got older and went to live to Southern side of the Empire so she could improve in more ways possible and get a normal job so that her mother could take it easier, at that time she comes across a certain someone that did something that she didn't know.