Just My Random (and depressing) Thoughts
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Just as the title states, this is really just a book (can I even call this a book?) about the things that plague my mind. This will contain very depressing thoughts. This book has a big TRIGGER WARNING!!
So you understand me a little better, I have been officially diagnosed with depression, severe anxiety, manic depression, and codependency. Though my friends have suggested other things, I have not been to see anyone about my problems recently. I did have a therapist. He was a family therapist who usually saw people with alcohol addictions or drug addictions. I was different. He saw me individually. Never spoke to my parents, never spoke to my siblings. He knew no one in my family. And I've never had a drinking problem. So I was new to him. The visits were only about an hour long and I only saw him five times in total before my mother (Tabatha) took me out of it. I don't really know how I feel about that. I don't think I made progress with him but we did only have five visits. That was two years ago. I stopped taking my antidepressants. They made me feel worse. Like there was a mask over my face just hiding what I was truly feeling. I felt the medicine was lying to me. Trying to make me believe I was happy when I really wasn't. I'm still depressed and I still have anxiety and I still have manic depression. I just don't take medicine for them because I don't want it. I don't just want a bunch of lies filling my brain. I want to truly feel alive again. I don't want to be reliant on medicine my whole life cuz, I'll say it, medicine does not work! Or, at least not for me. It doesn't help in the long run. It just masks what you're feeling at that moment. I want my freedom and to love who I want and to just be human... So here are my thoughts. My feelings. On the surface, I may seem strong and confident to my friends and birth family but, on the inside, I'm dying. So you, the reader, get a glimpse of what goes on inside of my mind. I'm sorry.
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Something tragic has happened. A 17 year old Valeri has to move to her dad's place. She spent all her life thinking he was dead. Her now dead mother told her that. Not knowing she has a twin brother she flies over the country and meets him there. She comes back into lives of people she once knew and loved. Not just her family. But someone else. A boy who took care of her when she was struggling. Her best friend. Valeri is dealing with addictions and when something at her new home happens, she sinks even lower. It might not end well for her. But she has friends now. Her kind brother, two funny friends and someone else she once knew... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heyy! This is my first book. 1. I want to make it clear that English is not my first language and there might be writing mistakes. 2. ⚠️BEFORE YOU START READING CHECK TWs BELOW⚠️ 3. I myself struggle with an addiction and I think writing this book will help me process everything. That's another reason why I'm doing it. 4. You're welcome to comment but leave if you're here to write hate comments. I don't care what you think. 5. If you're here just for smut this is not a book for you. There might be some scenes but not many. This story is about struggling, dealing and fighting with addictions. 6. I'll post a new chapter every few days. I have a lot of schoolwork but I'll try my best. ⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS: panic and anxiety attacks, self harm, sexual assault and rape, eating disorder, drinking and smoking, weed, pills, drug addiction, overdose, suicide attempt, depression, ptsd, swearing, mature content TROPES: -childhood best friend -friends to lovers -brother's best friend -who did this to you? -one bed trope I'LL PROBABLY ADD SOME MORE I hope you'll enjoy it!
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