unrealistic

i dont see the point
anymore
what the fuck
am i still doing here
why do i contemplate
the decision
when i could just go?
everyone would be better off
ive seen the pictures together
the memories with eachother
they have told me
i am not apart of any of that
im just in the way
i ruin it all
step by step
day by day
i fuck it all up
i fucking ruin it all
i fucking hate myself
i want it to all be over
but at the same time
i know the world is beautiful
so maybe i dont want to die
but at the same time
i cant wait
to escape this body
and drown
in the eternal dark
because living is torture
death is a present
and i am what
everyone resents
so why not grace?
how hard is it to kill yourself?
you have it all
the pills
the knife
the blades
maybe even the rope
why dont you end it soon?
its not like you mattered anyone
you dont exist
nothing does