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unrealistic

unrealisticrealityx

Reads 172
Votes 3
Parts 13
Time 19m

Reads 172
Votes 3
Parts 13
Time 19m

unrealisticrealityx

binge cut depression harm purge sad self suicidal

i dont see the point
anymore
what the fuck
am i still doing here
why do i contemplate
the decision
when i could just go?
everyone would be better off
ive seen the pictures together
the memories with eachother
they have told me
i am not apart of any of that
im just in the way
i ruin it all
step by step
day by day
i fuck it all up
i fucking ruin it all
i fucking hate myself
i want it to all be over
but at the same time
i know the world is beautiful 
so maybe i dont want to die
but at the same time
i cant wait
to escape this body
and drown 
in the eternal dark
because living is torture
death is a present
and i am what
everyone resents
so why not grace?
how hard is it to kill yourself?
you have it all
the pills
the knife 
the blades
maybe even the rope
why dont you end it soon?
its not like you mattered anyone
you dont exist
nothing doesAll Rights Reserved

binge cut depression harm purge sad self suicidal

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13 parts

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The Voices. by Batman_At_The_Disco

I never thought I'd actually do this.... I've thought about it but never actually gone through with it.... The voice in my head has been screaming at me for years... But I never actually tried to do... This... It's hard to be around people when you have someone telling you to tear their throats out with your teeth... But it's worse when you're alone. She tells me to do terrible things to myself... Tells me I'm worthless... Unloved....Expendable... Of course I believe her. She's in my head for Christ's sakes how can I not believe her. It's so hard...I gave in...I had no choice...the temptation is so strong. I can't hug people without wondering what it would feel like to thrust a knife into their back and feel their bodies jerk in surprise as they slowly began to realize...that they're dying.....they're being murdered...and not by a complete stanger...but by a person that they love....that they thought they could trust....oh god I want to...give in..... I can't believe my life is like this. Why me? How could I do such a horrible thing? Why....

Jesse's Redemption (manxman /werewolf || #lgbt) by notbackingdown

Sequel to Want You Back. ******** For every action, there's a reaction. Too bad Jesse learned the hard way. His actions, his careless words, took something precious from his family. Broke his family. Is there any way to redeem himself? He doesn't believe so. But he does everything he possibly can to make up for what he's done. **** Being Eric Moore Hardcore Pornstar. That was easy. I knew what was expected of me. Then everything changed. Changes, things I don't understand. Questions I couldn't answer. Then there's Jesse. My mate. But how can I be a mate when I don't have a wolf. I mean I'm not sure if I did. Why don't I have a connection like everyone else. I wish everyone would forget I did the special things. It's not like I liked it. I just didn't want to be punished. I wish I wasn't a kid trapped in a grown up's body. I wish Jesse would love me. I wish he didn't hate himself. Wishes upon wishes. Will they ever come true?

the suicide mind by Dileyne18xo

"and you left me with bad habits like cracking my knuckles and wearing your sweater because the smell of you still lingers. you left me chewing at the skin of my skin on my lips because maybe just maybe if it's gone the taste of you will be too, but the problem is i can't tear off my skin. so i'm left with the shivers down my spine when my body remembers your hands running up my back as you kissed me and it paralyzes me because i miss it. i miss you. i miss smiling between kisses because damn you just made me happy and I thought I made you just as happy because you would smile and whisper "what" but i would just shake my head and pull you close and it was real. it was. all of it. so why did you leave me? why?"

Pain is Forgiveness by ChapterBlast

'....He isn't home again...why...? Doesn't he know I need him...? I mean...yeah I...did all those things...b-but that was during the moment...I-I thought they were...but they're not...they just wanted to Fuck...not...keep me warm...not help me at my lowest...but...he did...and...I need it...I need him...why isn't he here with me...? why did I waste my time with those useless fuckers than my Darling...? why did I...maybe he got lost...I'll look for him...then we can talk...and I'll fix what I broke...huh...? His door's open...wait... A girl, who swings both sides and ignores her heart A boy, Loyal and caring, love strong for his other...until she crossed the line... one saved by the other...racked with guilt and desperation, wants her 'Darling'...but... she chose to do this... (I got the Idea from someone who recommended me this, You know who you are so make yourself known, Credit to that individual for helping my stuck brain, but I'll add my own twist)

~Trust Me ~ by insanelysane2552

"I want a divorce." And just hearing him say that my whole world that seemed to revolve around him stopped. Gathering myself I barely managed to speak in a voice that even I could not recognise. I couldn't comprehend anything going around me. "Wh..hy?" As soon as the words left my mouth he threw the file and the photographs spread across the floor. And those photographs had me in compromising positions with not one but several men. Looking at those photos I looked straight into his eyes. Disgust and hatred. The only emotions I could see. Taking a deep breath I composed myself and tried to keep my face void of the emotions I felt at that moment. Hurt and immense pain. If he didn't trust me then he has no right to see me vulnerable too. "Is this the only reason why you want to divorce me? No other except this?" It was foolish of me to ask him but I had to make sure. Also for me trust comes before love. If he doesn't trust me I don't even want to save the relationship. "Is this not enough you whore? What else can I expect from a slut and a gold digger like you! I knew it from the start that all you showed was just a facade. Your innocence, kindness, it was all fake. I just don't believe how can I be so dumb." Was I hurt? No I was broken beyond repair. My heart ached. I felt like I was seconds away from collapsing. I had far exceeded the limit of hurt and pain. I was so powerless in that moment that I couldn't even fight with him. Love makes you strong. I have heard and felt that countless times but they always forget to mention what comes after that. Love makes you weak too. I couldn't shout at him because I loved him. But I had to be brave. For myself. ************************************************** Is love enough for two people to be together or is there something more important than love? This is story of Xander and Sophie who loved each other but still couldn't be together. Because more important than love is trust. © All rights reserved

Save Me From The Scars Of Yesterday. by thebadgirl05

I'm broken beyond repair and yet... I still wish for someone to save the last pieces of me before I completely die away. I only have one wish... And that is for someone to see past the smiling facade... For someone to see through my bright smile... I want someone who will ask me even just for once... If I was alright... If I was okay... But no... Everyone sees no one else but the happy me. Even jealous of how much I was enjoying life... How mistaken they all are...

Is it too late to say Sorry? - 1 ✓ by iambellissima_nishaz

"The fuck you are leaving me." He snapped and growled at his mate. She was calm as she was ever be regardless of his snapping. She sighed and turned around to leave without saying something to him because it was worthless. There was no point in talking and especially to him. He grabbed her arm before she put one step. "Where do you think you are going Ara?" He growled so loudly as everyone shuddered watching their interaction. She quickly remove his hand as anger rolling off of her in waves. "Don't. Touch. Me. So you think I will live here and watch you mate and breed that female." She snapped at him. "She meant nothing Ara." He said after a minute. She laughed, literally laughed but without any humor. "That's why you were fucking her in your office just a minutes before, don't you?" "It was a mistake." He tried to reason with her. "But in your case mistakes happened in more than one time. And they said mistakes happened only one time." She said sarcastically. "I don't need her. I need you." He said again desperately. "Lies. All lies coming from your mouth. I feel disgusted just by looking at you, let alone talking to you. And you said you need me? Ha. Very funny. You don't need me and I sure as hell don't need you. This female behind your back is more enough than me. Breed her, mark her or fuck her. I DON'T FUCKING CARE." "I am sorry. I am really fucking sorry." He said brokenly as kneeling on the ground. A small laugh escaped from her lips. "Isn't it too late for that mate?" And she left just like that while single tear rolled down her cheeks. He had made mistakes. Mistakes that will cost him everything. He knew he had lost her and this time completely. She was broken. Again. He did break her, repair her just to break her again leaving a broken shattered woman but strong willed. ---------------------------------------------------- The cruel, sadistic Rogue Alpha and his caring, lovable Witch mate. Will it be too late for him to say sorry?

I Felt Used by LatinaNCali

"SO I WAS ONLY A BET TO YOU!" She yelled at me. "Look I'm sorry but at first it was, but then when we kiss it just change everything. I couldn't stop thinking about you after you left, then I was hurt and mad because you wouldn't give me your phone number," I was holding her hand looking at her apologetic. "You're such a dick and then you went and fuck one of those girls. I can't believe this I just knew you were mistake. I knew I shouldn't have fuck with you........you're too young and you act stupid. You know what I'm so done with you............UGH I feel so stupid," she walks away angrily.

You Stole My Heart by sattvika98

He took wild steps towards her..pushing her fragile body on the walls and forcing his lips on her.... He was kissing her hungrily...his cold heart was not allowing her tears to melt him...he bitted her lip....she yelled in pain.. hitting his chest with her tiny hands... He left her due to lack of breath...he started giving wet kisses on her neck... Move...she pushed her forcefully... Please move... You promised that you will give me space until I feel comfortable with you.... Then why..???? She said sobbing between her hiccups... hugging her knees... I am your husband damn it I have the right to kiss you.... I waited for 6 months ..why you are punishing me...you have married me with your will then why....what's stopping you??? Can't you see my love for you in my eyes.. Answer me...he yelled gripping her shoulders... searching for an answer in her eyes... You are not the person who stole my heart..she said falling on the ground crying... But you are the person who stole my heart..he said in a broken tone

Tough Love (Completed) by Killjob

"Will be there in 20?" The message from Dean reads. My brain says I should text back saying 'I will rip your balls off if you come over' or 'I am not a sex toy, you could come over and use me as and when you please' or at least a simple 'No'. But I don't. I squat next to my bed and pull out the white powder to numb the pain. I told myself that I am done with Dean and I am going to get my life back together. I cleaned up, battled withdrawals and even improved my grades. One text from him and I am snorting coke. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let Dean treat me like trash? Why do I set myself up knowing that it's only a matter of time before he will run back to Sherley leaving me in limbo? Why? l have asked myself the same question a million times but I couldn't come up with an answer that I can use to justify myself. When it came to Dean, I was a masochist. I let him use me and discard me without any fight. Dean was my first Friend. Kiss. Sex. Love. Everything. I wanted to be his everything too. I was his first Friend. Kiss and Sex but Love.. that was Sherley. His family chauffeur's daughter. I want to be a better human and say I didn't hate her. But I am not. I am just human and I hate her with the ferocious of a thousand sun. I hate that she plays him like a fiddle and he dances to it. I hate that they fight for silly reasons and Dean comes running to me. I hate that I let him in even when I know she will reel him back in no time. I hate that he is my weakness and Sherley is his. I wished that my best friend would turn to be my lover. But he just ripped my heart out. It time to let go and move on.

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Slide 1 of 10

The Voices. cover

Jesse's Redemption (manxman /werewolf || #lgbt) cover

the suicide mind cover

Pain is Forgiveness cover

~Trust Me ~ cover

Save Me From The Scars Of Yesterday. cover

Is it too late to say Sorry? - 1 ✓ cover

I Felt Used cover

You Stole My Heart cover

Tough Love (Completed) cover

The Voices.

I never thought I'd actually do this.... I've thought about it but never actually gone through with it.... The voice in my head has been screaming at me for years... But I never actually tried to do... This... It's hard to be around people when you have someone telling you to tear their throats out with your teeth... But it's worse when you're alone. She tells me to do terrible things to myself... Tells me I'm worthless... Unloved....Expendable... Of course I believe her. She's in my head for Christ's sakes how can I not believe her. It's so hard...I gave in...I had no choice...the temptation is so strong. I can't hug people without wondering what it would feel like to thrust a knife into their back and feel their bodies jerk in surprise as they slowly began to realize...that they're dying.....they're being murdered...and not by a complete stanger...but by a person that they love....that they thought they could trust....oh god I want to...give in..... I can't believe my life is like this. Why me? How could I do such a horrible thing? Why....