intrusive thoughts in words

intrusive thoughts in words

moonlight_figure

Reads 141
Votes 7
Parts 4

Ongoing<5 mins

Last published Tue, Feb 2, 2021

Poetry

Tagsanxiety anxietydisorder depressed depression mentaldisorder

this is me writing questionable quotes about the meaning of life...wonder...........

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KNOW ME
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Everyone says that healing is a personal journey- that you must be self-sufficient and independent... but well- historically that just does not happen. Healing has always been done by or with a community. So, when River and Amelia are constantly pushed together by their friends- as they clash and then work to form a friendship that turns into so much more- what happens when maybe the path to healing is not so simple as ticking off Amelia's self-care checklist, what happens when both Amelia and River find themselves needing each other in more ways than one? Relationships sustain us, but they also destroy us. Can both find the trust that they need to love each other healthily?
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"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.
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Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression
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I know you cry with silent tears, I know you lock yourself up so as not to make anyone feel bad, I know that you hide your demons under a smile, And you go through life terrified by what your mind treads And it tears your heart. But don't drown in you, Take out your tears Without Fear. The people who really love you It won't sink in your stormy sea And it won't let you sink, either And maybe I can't save you, But swim with you, And it's always goof to have someone to swim with. So please... Stay

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