Drunk

"I don't care what you feel or what you don't feel", I say slightly slurring my words. I try to speak normal but its really hard.
His hand slowly pulls back from my cheek where it has rested since our kiss.
"I don't give a single damn what you do and what you don't" My voice gets louder and the picture in front of my eyes begins to be blurry. Every movement and every word takes so much.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, I thought you loved me", he says. His hand now is buried deep in his jeans' pocket, showing how uncomfortable he is.

I look at him and feel the hate he probably sees in my eyes.
"I don't care what you feel or what you dont feel", I slowly repeat, word by word.
While looking at him I raise the cold glass bottle to my lips, let the liquor pour into my mouth and swallow it, leaving a stining burn in my throat.

"I just want to be drunk. Because that's the only way I can be happy", I wisper without showing any feeling.
I raise the bottle again, drinking every last drop of it. I dont even know what it is. But it makes me feel dizzier the more runs down my throat.
My arms falls down in a quick motion while the bottle slips out of my hand and shatters on the floor.
I don't even care to look at it, I just keep staring at him, while I see little sparkling droplets run down his cheeks.
"I fucking hate you because you never made me happy." Those are the last words I can mutter before the weird force controlling me pulls me to the floor, into the dirt where the tiny shards plunge deep into the soft skin of my right cheek.

Trigger warning for drugs, alcohol and sexual abuse, as well as suicide, violence and swearing.

copyright @moonlight_dance , all rights reserved