Finding James

James and I have been best friends for years. I have listened to him talk about his vibrant sex life, I have read the erotic books he has wrote, I have dreamt about him doing all of those things to me and I mean all of them. I have given myself to him, told him I belong to him, told him I am his to do as he pleases. But now that he is finally mine, the sexy, dark James I knew, is now a soft, tender, lover.
I know that if he could, he would be rough again. If only he could forget the past that follows him every where he goes. He's even told me before that he can't escape the feeling of being seen as a bad person just because of his past.
I am now just waiting for James to find that part of himself again, and hoping that one day we can find it together.