Long Lost "Us" Dog // Les Twins
- Reads 397
- Votes 47
- Parts 3
MatureOngoing<5 mins
Last published Wed, Mar 10, 2021
You call and I answer!
My GG calls me The Tiny German Sausage, which is kinda doggist if you really think about it. I mean, sure, I'm tiny, I'm of German descent, and I'm shaped like a processed meat product, but is that all I really am? Fuck no! I'm multi-talented! GG thinks she's the only writer in the house, but the bitch would be wrong. She's also a crappy dog-to-human translator.
No, I am the long-lost Us Dog. I know it deep down in my bones. I just need your help for my Usses to find me. There's a reason I go batshit every time GG plays Hotdamn or cry any time I hear my Larry song, One Second. Those are the songs of my people. But until my people find me, I'm stuck here. Don't get me wrong, I love my GG. She's a lot like my Usses in some ways. She's goofy as fuck like Larry, and she will do some crazy shit just to embarrass my Mom, so she can be kinda like Lau that way. Me? I'm just fucking fabulous, and I'm good at everything I do. I sing, I dance, I guard the house against loud retractable tape measures and big poofy dresses (long story). I even beatbox...sorta...
Anyway, welcome to my world. Do try to keep up...
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To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com From: sammichesforever@gmail.com Subject: Biscuits!!!!!!!!!!!!! John, your wife stole my biscuits. To: sammichesforever@gmail.com From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com Re Subject: Biscuits!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. To: walrusgumboot@gmail.com From: sammichesforever@gmail.com Re Subject: Biscuits!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't play stupid. You know she did. Have her give them back this minute. To: sammichesforever@gmail.com From: walrusgumboot@gmail.com Re Subject: Biscuits!!!!!!!!!!!!! We live too far away for her to give them back "this minute," George. It might be more like, "this year." 📧📧📧 The lovely cover was made by @-IAmTheWalrus-!
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