Miss Atomic Bomb - Kaylor

When I'm feeling nostalgic I desperately try to remember the moment we met. I wish I'd have the memory of laying eyes on you for the first time and knowing that us meeting would be significant and life defining. The funny thing about life is that you don't always know how impactful these meetings will be on you. I had no idea that years after we would meet you would still haunt me.

Now that I'm older, I think a lot of what happened between us was my fault. I broke my own heart and for the longest time I wanted to blame you. I didn't want to come to terms with the fact that it was just as much on me as I wanted it to be on you. It's hard to grieve something that was never really established. I know that now. That's the problem with blurred lines and things with us never being black and white. I always felt that I never had closure. And I think that's why I still think of you, why I still write about you, why years later I still wonder about what could've been had I just been honest with you. Were we ever on the same page? Was it one sided? Did I read things that were never written in between the lines? One day I was the most important thing in your life and the next you were just a ghost from a simpler time.

The thought of us was always enough for me. I'd drop everything just to be near you, but you were never mine to lose in the first place. I don't even know if I can call it a fling? Is that how you describe what happened between us? Do you ever talk about what happened between us? Do you think about those late nights? The hours we'd spend talking? Is it branded on your heart in the way it is mine? I'll never know.

Kaylor High School AU

Some talk of lacrosse, but I promise there isn't much there for my antisports people