A lot can go wrong on a date.
It always starts at the same point, though - when I meet the person I am going on a date with.
It can be me. The problem one. Or it can be the guy that smelled like a cesspool. Or the one that admired my disinterest in how I look. Or the one that compared me to a fat penguin. Or, of course, it can be me.
Like hell it is.
My mother sees it differently. And being the stubborn, intrusive person she is, she won't quit until I hang on a man's arm. And it apparently does not even matter who that man is. Otherwise, how could she throw me to men like that, right?
To get her out of my back, I agreed to ten dates.
Ten evenings. That is survivable, I thought. Then I found myself in an acute need of rescue. Ten times.
What I did not realize is that when someone needs rescue, it simply requires a doctor.
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Warning: Mature language!
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I open my eyes. They lock with his and thousands of words of unknown meaning start sparkling in a silent conversation our minds won't be ever able to decipher. I don't mind, though. I am too lost in the two blue depths of his eyes.
In that moment, I know it.
I have been falling down through these blue skies for too long, I am out of my strength to keep myself in the air. I was never supposed to pass through them undamaged, ignoring the storm coming my way could never save me from its lightnings.
I crushed.
[BWWM]
I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart.
My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss.
The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place.
In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded.
I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me.
I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living.
I had hit rock bottom.
The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone.
Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness.
She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline.
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● Warnings ⚠️
~ Mention of suicide
~ Anxiety attacks
~ Rape attempt
~ Mention of self-harm
~ Depression