what does it mean to love ?

Just to add a little backstory this was my senior trip #classof2020 im 18 and in college now , anyways we went to some hotel called pine ridge dude ranch in kerhonkson ny, it was absolutely beautiful and i miss it sooo much , my school along with about 5 others from around the city had their trip there as well and the "host" planned a party for us for two nights in a row the second night i attended i seen this guy and my friends offered to get his snap for me... when i tell u i dipped, but anyway so basically i was fake depressed over this dude for like a week so that's where these little writings took place. I decided to put them all together, Btw i have talked to him ...barely , over the pandemic, i still have him on snap and he still watches my stories tehe! (this is my first post)