Payne in the Ass
- Reads 2,005,963
- Votes 35,153
- Parts 37
Complete Sat, Aug 8, 20158h 2m
three girls. five guys. bad jokes. one awful parody.
"I seriously could not put this book down." -A person whose hands were glued to this book, even though it's impossible considering this is virtual.
"The best wattpad story I've ever read!" -Somebody who just learned how to read and has only read one wattpad story in their life.
❀ WARNING ❀
omg don't read this plz it's embarrassing uGH
This book is not serious at all. It's a One Direction fanfic parody. Or, as I like to call it, 'The Queen Book of all Carroty Fanfics'. It's idiotic and stupid and silly and cliche because all I want to do is put a smile on your face and make you shake your head at how dumb it is. If you want to read something that's actually well written, I don't recommend this! also there's lots of cussing in this oops :) xx
All Rights Reserved
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PARODY OF 1D FANFICS. This book parodies typical fanfics written about Harry's dimples, Zayn's hair, Liam's... well i don't know anything about liam, that gay one's... erm... wait, what's he famous for? .... well he wears stripes, i know that. oh and the irish one's irishness. DISCLAIMER: NOTHING IN THIS STORY IS MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE; AND IT'S NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK ON ANY AUTHOR/STORY ON WATTPAD. So calm your tits. I wrote this book as an extension of my 'first world problems on wattpad rant' book. In case you didn't realize, all spelling/punctuation/grammatical errors in this book were made on purpose, for comedic effect. Yes I realized most of the plot didn't make sense. When do fanfics ever make sense? All rights reserved.Complete
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𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐀, niall horan
† 𝔩𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢 /ˈ𝔩ɪ𝔪ə𝔯ə𝔫𝔰/ 𝔞𝔡𝔧𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢: 𝔞 𝔣𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔫 𝔬𝔣 𝔯𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔠 𝔣𝔦𝔵𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫; 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔶 𝔬𝔟𝔰𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔰, 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔠𝔦𝔱𝔶, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔶; ∴ 𝔡𝔢𝔳𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫 † "Then tell me," I rasp. "Tell me and I'll deal with it. I'll handle it. Just-don't shut me out." "I can't," she says again, voice breaking. "I can't tell you. I can't be with you. And I can't stand here and watch you break and know that I'm the reason." She swallows hard, her throat moving. "Please don't make me explain it. Please just... stop." I take a step toward her anyway, rain dripping from my eyelashes, my chest hollow. "I don't care if it kills me," I say, and it's not bravado; it's a man with nothing left to barter. "If that's the price, fine. At least then I get to be with you before it ends." She makes a small sound, half sob, half laugh, and it's the most human thing I've ever heard from her. "Don't say that," she whispers, almost fierce. "Don't ever say that." She holds my eyes for one last beat, lips parted like she might say something else - something that could undo all of this, something that could make the rain stop mattering. But she doesn't. Instead, she exhales, low and unsteady, and shakes her head. "I'm sorry," she says again, softer now, like a confession. Then she turns. And that's it.
DIRECTIONERS ONLY!!!
This Book Will Be Filled With Things Related To ONE DIRECTION!! Jokes, Poems,And Other Random Stuff That Makes Directioners Different From Normal Fandoms And People! PS: The first like 5 chapters are so CARROTY its embarrassing...I wrote this forever ago that's why its carroty....you can skip those.LOL [Credit: Pinterest, Tumblr, & Google?]Complete
The Register | H.S.
*Story contains mature content* They always told me that I will become the person they raised me to be but they never mentioned that one day a green eyed creature was going to turn my whole life upside down. - He pulled away from me slowly. "What a pure soul you have, Angel." He said to me while softly moving his finger from my forehead to my jaw. "But why do I have this effect on you if you love him as much as you pretend?" I took a moment to assimilate his words. My brain was running in slow motion due to the effect he was having on me. If only I had the answer. - HIGHEST RANKING #1 in harrystylesdark #1 in hs # 1 in harry #1 in longhairharry #1 in darkharrystyles #1 in lhh #2 in harryedwardstyles #3 loveatfirstsight #4 in styles #8 in harrystylesfanfiction #8 in harrystylesfanfic #9 in stylesfanfic #14 in daddyissues #15 in louistomlinson #25 in domesticviolence #25 in hsau #29 in mentaldisorder - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO @tbslangel NOT ALLOWING TRANSLATIONS! CONTAINS VULGAR LANGUAGE/ DESCRIPTIVE VIOLENCE / SEXUAL CONTENT/ DRUG ABUSES/ MENTAL HEALTH READ AT OWN RISK!Complete
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"𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚" [Highest rankings] 1# in everywhere 1# in Onedirectionasthemselves 1# in Niallhoranfanfiction 1# in fanficniallhoran 1# in fanficniall 54# in direction 1# in Nialllovestory 3# in Horan 1# in fanfictiononedirection 1# in onedirectionfanfic 1# in Niall 1# in niallhoran with 1# in onedirectionfanfictionComplete![Up All Night ➸ One Direction [ EDITING as of June 2020 ]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/1164981-256-k464174.jpg)
Up All Night ➸ One Direction [ EDITING as of June 2020 ]
"It wasn't like I was a hater or anything, I just had better things to do than stalk One Direction's Twitter and Facebook page." Ella Strauss once said. She walked around the mall aimlessly in search of an outfit. The last thing she expected was to be trapped in a store with One Direction. Ella was so sure she wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, but as time went by, she started to enjoy herself with the boys. From Twitter Trends to hate messages, her life changed. But who cares? Ella was having the time of her life. She gets tossed into the world of carrots, mirrors, food, spoons, pussies, and much, much more. [Cover created by HopeSilver] Undergoing some edits but is *completed*Complete
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How you gonna say that? Take it all back. Fuckin' with my head will make my heart attack. - When Jasey Foster agrees to join her father, owner of Foster Music Management, on tour with punk band, Pretty Venom, she finds herself fighting her morals and struggling to make sense of the world around her. Niall Horan, lead guitarist in the band, faces his own struggles finding himself in the world after having to escape the life he created for himself back home. His rockstar nights are followed by hungover and dreadful days as he searches for motivation in his clouded mind. "Do I make you nervous, Jasey?" he asks, looking down to me as he takes a step closer, awaiting the answer. I step backwards from him, shaking my head. He takes another step to me. "Use your words, Jasey." I finally step towards him, raising my head to face his. "Why would you make me nervous? Why would I waste my time worrying about a rude, entitled, selfish musician who has to have his friends save him from every mistake he makes? It's no wonder you had to leave Ireland. You probably couldn't own up to your poor decisions and now that you have three people who will cover your ass from any conflict you walk into, you don't care about your recklessness because you know there will be someone to clean up the messes you make." His lips slowly turn to a grin. "There she is. Keep going. " - HIGHEST RANKINGS: #1 Niall Horan AU #1 Literature #1 Writing #2 Niall #62 Niall Horan #1 Niall Horan Fanfi #1 Band #1 One Direction STARTED MARCH 2021 ENDED JULY 2022Complete
PARODY OF 1D FANFICS. This book parodies typical fanfics written about Harry's dimples, Zayn's hair, Liam's... well i don't know anything about liam, that gay one's... erm... wait, what's he famous for? .... well he wears stripes, i know that. oh and the irish one's irishness. DISCLAIMER: NOTHING IN THIS STORY IS MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE; AND IT'S NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK ON ANY AUTHOR/STORY ON WATTPAD. So calm your tits. I wrote this book as an extension of my 'first world problems on wattpad rant' book. In case you didn't realize, all spelling/punctuation/grammatical errors in this book were made on purpose, for comedic effect. Yes I realized most of the plot didn't make sense. When do fanfics ever make sense? All rights reserved.
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