the glorious book of shitposts
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للبالغينمستمرّة37m
آخر تحديث: أربعاء, مارس ١٥, ٢٠٢٣
all my shitposts will go here
warning: cursed plots
i have too much time on my hands
dont ask how i came up w/ this im just that cool
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐲 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 (Harry Potter x Reader)
☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ (Harry Potter x Fem! Reader) ❝ 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐞'𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡- 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡- 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬. ❞ ϟ 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬... - Swearing - No smut - Mostly fluff - Books-based storyline - A sprinkle of Draco Malfoy ϟ *I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER* STARTED: 18.09.20 FINISHED: 25.10.21مكتمِلة
(OLD VERSION) FUTURE QUEEN % tomura shigaraki
i wrote this at 2am in the morning when i was 15 so if you do decide to read this, it has the most atrocious grammatical errors, the sloppiest development, and a crazy amount of cliche. so yeah :P
dumb bitch vibes || slashers x reader
"what's your favorite scary movie" "Shrek the musical, when lord farquad was hurting the gingerbread man for answers had me actually shitting myself" "..." "hello?" when a stupid young adult goes face to face with killers ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this is a crackfic cause im bored please dont take this seriously :)مكتمِلة
𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐌,, slashers x reader
(HELP THIS IS... ugh idk old 😭) • slashers x Fem! reader ⋆౨𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙾𝚃𝚃𝙴𝙽ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ (English is not my first language) Srry ── .✦ "𝖆𝖓 𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓" ﹒ ♫ ⁺ ⸝⸝ ✧ Ａｒｔｉｓｔ ⋆˚࿔ 𝖂𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖔 𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖞𝖔𝖓𝖊. 𝕾𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖑𝖞 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚. 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ • The world is nothing but a nightmare, the world is either a curse or a blessing. She used to appreciate everything though, Her love and admiration to this world dissapeared. She witnessed his death. She saw how everyone just suddenly changed. • An unexpected event has happened and Y/n also didn't expected anything this to happen...مكتمِلة
Maybe This is Enough 𓇚 The Onceler x Jon Arbuckle 𓇚
whoops my hand slipped 𓇗------------𓇗 #1 in thelorax [ 04/16/24 ] 𓇗------------𓇗 ~ [ Garfield x The Lorax (2012) Crossover ] ~ ! \ SFW / ! ? { 100% Satire, however since I'm extra like that I'll be treating it like it's not } ¿ !! ^ Lorax Approved!! ^ !! 𝙶̴𝚊̴𝚛̴𝚏̴𝚒̴𝚎̴𝚕̴𝚍̴ 𝚊̴𝚗̴𝚍̴ 𝚝̴𝚑̴𝚎̴ 𝙻̴𝚘̴𝚛̴𝚊̴𝚡̴ 𝚍̴𝚘̴ 𝚗̴𝚘̴𝚝̴ 𝚋̴𝚎̴𝚕̴𝚘̴𝚗̴𝚐̴ 𝚝̴𝚘̴ 𝚖̴𝚎̴ 𓇗------------𓇗 Jon Arbuckle lost everything. His girlfriend, his job, and sooner or later his house. Severely in debt and heavily stressed out, Jon decides to take his pets to live with him at his mom's house. But uh oh! Disaster strikes, and Jon ends up driving into the middle of a tornado! [ 🤯 ] Little did Jon know that that one road trip and that one little tornado would change the course of his life forever... 𓇗------------𓇗 "Your fanfic was literally obliterating, your use of words was chefs kiss 💋" - Alice 𓇗------------𓇗 This is what happens when you're bored af and need to practice writing 💀‼️
𝙎𝙏𝙐𝙋𝙄𝘿 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 !
❝𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘, 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄!❞ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ 𝙄𝙉 𝙒𝙃𝙄𝘾𝙃: I post the crackfic I told you guys my friend was writing to Wattpad like any normal human being would. I do not own any of the fandoms owned in this story, and all of the OCs mentioned to be real people belong to themselves. I only own myself.مكتمِلة
❤︎☽𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚?☾❤︎(𝑆𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚 𝑥 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟)
(𝚂𝙴𝚀𝚄𝙴𝙻 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙾𝙾𝙽) "𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙚?" "Uhh dunno. I guess Child's Play although its not really a scary movie." "𝙇𝙖𝙢𝙚." "Fuck off Chucky's hot." "𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙤𝙡𝙡?!" "Yes. Yes the fucking doll." ---------------------------------------- "𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙢𝙚.. 𝙎𝙤. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚?" "And why do you wanna know my name?" "𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙄'𝙢 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙩." ... "Excuse me?" ------------- I do not own Scream or any of these characters. Almost all the scream characters will be love interests. This is my first x reader btw so sorry if it sucks balls. ♥︎⚠︎︎This story contains murder, gore, alcohol, and more.⚠︎︎♥︎مكتمِلة
𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑
{𝗕𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗟𝗼𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀 𝘅 𝗙!𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗦𝘁𝘂 𝗠𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿} ❝𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙚?❞ ▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐭. 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 . . . 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 . . . {𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐍𝐄} {𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘} Highest Rankings! 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝔹𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝔻𝕖𝕨𝕖𝕪ℝ𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕪 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝟙𝟡𝟡𝟞 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝕋𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕞ℝ𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕪 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝔹𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪𝕩ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕩𝕊𝕥𝕦 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕩ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 ℝ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕪𝕄𝕖𝕖𝕜𝕤 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕥𝕦 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝕋𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕞 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕠𝕣𝔽𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝟙# 𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕚𝕕𝕟𝕖𝕪ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥مكتمِلة
☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ (Harry Potter x Fem! Reader) ❝ 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬, 𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐡𝐞'𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡- 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡- 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬. ❞ ϟ 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬... - Swearing - No smut - Mostly fluff - Books-based storyline - A sprinkle of Draco Malfoy ϟ *I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER* STARTED: 18.09.20 FINISHED: 25.10.21
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