The Noup of Independence

Since ancient times, there have been many religions, Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and squash. But all of these are meaningless. For the one true religion was shunned and left to rot. But no more. We will not stand for this oppression. By reading this you are agreeing to be part of our cul- religion. And at the end, you must give the following:
1#: Your name/signature
2#: Your undivided faith
3#: Your kidneys (preferably both)