I've Got It Under Control
- Reads 87,035
- Votes 1,214
- Parts 38
Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life?
~
I've Got It Under Control
That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise.
Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner.
~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~
All Rights Reserved
Text-to-speech
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
Starving For Help
"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.Complete
White Rabbit
Diana is falling apart at the seams. After she graduates high school, her parents kick her off their insurance and, no longer able to afford her medication for her bipolar disorder, turns to street drugs as a relief. Nobody in her life is in a rush to get her out of it. Then she overdoses. She ends up in a hospital, because she's terrified if she doesn't, she'll go to jail. While she's there, Diana meets a number of women who have all been abandoned to the system like her, and people she would normally hate become close, if temporary, friends. With their help, recovery doesn't seem so far away, after all. I don't know what's wrong with wattpad, tags are broken and I can't add any more than I already have, so here are some content warnings: attempted suicide, drug overdose (heroin), drug use, self harm (cutting), eating disorder mention (bulimia), implied past sexual assault, victim blaming, psychosis, hallucinations, ocd, bipolar disorder, forced medication, psychiatric hospitalComplete
Black & White
A story, in which a typical teenage girl falls for the school's bad boy. Except, she's not that typical and he's not that much of a bad boy. *** "If I told you that I care about you, more than anyone in your life does, would you believe me?" He asked me, his jaw clenched. I could tell he was furious. Yet somehow, I wasn't scared of him. "No" I shook my head bravely. "If I told you,'' He tried again, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before continuing.''That you make me so fucking mad, I want to punch a fucking wall. What would you say?" He had me trapped now, my back painfully colliding with the wall behind me. I gasped at the impact, looking up into his icy grey eyes. They were cold, emotionless. As always. "Do it!" I dared him with the last ounce of courage I had left in me. The sound of his fist smashing through the wall right next to my head, made my ears ring for a brief moment. I opened my mouth to speak again, shaking slightly, only for him to pull away and leave me standing there alone. ____ !!Warning!! This story contains strong language, mature scenes, alcohol and drug consumption, and sensitive topics like - eating disorders, bullying, mental health, etc. ___ HIGHEST RANKINGS: 1st in #ed, 1st in #badboysgirl, 8th in #victim, 9th in #rehabilitation, 13th in #youngadultComplete
Will She Keep It Under Control?
Previously if you were to ever look inside Jules's heart and see the world through her eyes you would cry. But maybe things have changed? Will she keep it under control? I guess you will have to wait and see. You have read the unfortunate stories of Jules Hart, read and experienced with her the heartache and pain as she navigated her way through hospital and psychiatric ward admissions. All the while she fought an eating disorder, self harm, suicidal thoughts and ideations, intense anxiety and PTSD. Now sit back. And indulge yet again in the life of Jules Hart and her life outside of the psychiatric ward. While she goes through the highs and lows of recovery. Will she keep it under control? Is this finally Jules's happy ending?
Butterfly
Sometime's I stand back, and wonder if life is created for that specific person. Maybe I was given the challenges I have, because someone out there knows I'm strong enough for them. Or maybe i'm not. Maybe i'm just one of those people who isn't supposed to make it. Not everyone can. | # | It all began with a butterfly; A beautiful, fragile creature that lead Paris on her road to recovery. In this tale, Paris discovers all the reasons why she wants to let go of her eating disorder, but her past isn't so quick to comply. - Warning - Triggering, may contain themes that aren't appropriate for young ages. Please beware if you are recovering from an ED. ~ All quotes prior to each chapter are not mine unless stated otherwise ~ This story is a entry for the #FreeYourBody campaign, created by Thalie PurvisComplete
It was under control
Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~Complete
Abigail
(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.Complete
Coffee at 5 AM √
"Wait," I put my hands on my hips and frown. "You woke me up to ask me this? Because you want to meet me every morning at five?" "Yes." "So you honestly expect me to throw away three hours of perfectly good sleep just to have coffee with you?" He rolls his eyes and smirks at me. "Yes." "And what's in it for me?" he takes a step towards me. "Duh. You get to drink coffee with me every day for a year," he points at his face. "Are you going to say no to this pretty face, are you?" I hand him a five-dollar bill. "Fine, I'll do it," he smiles. "Now go get me a mocha latte and a cream cheese bagel." √ √ √ Ella Cliff has always been the girl with a perfect Instagram feed, an amazing closet and boyfriends to die for. But Ella isn't who she appears to be. In reality, she despises the role she's playing. Waking up at four A.M. and having meltdowns are daily routines for her and she feels like she's all alone. Meet Connor Black, a boy with a smirk that makes girls swoon, who loves romance novels and who also hates 99% of the population. He's the most popular boy at his school, even though he doesn't talk to anyone. So, what happens when Ella, a girl living a double life, and Connor, a boy with severe depression, meet? What happens if they fall in love? And what would happen if they told everyone the truth? WARNING: This story contains insomnia, depression, and thoughts about suicide Coffee at 5 AM by Maura H. Copyright © 2020 All Rights ReservedComplete![California Eyes [Taylor x OC]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/387878320-256-k332341.jpg)
California Eyes [Taylor x OC]
~ got a girl with california eyes and I thought that she could really be the one this time. But I never got the chance to make her mine because she *is too* in love with little thin white lines ~ They say beauty is pain but is it really? Is less always more? It seems to be that way, at least for Taylor Swift, who strikes to meet every beauty standard there is to meet. In the world of fame she lives in, her drastic weight loss doesn't go by unnoticed, and only hours after the final show of her successful Eras Tour she finds herself in a psych ward, forced to face her relentless struggles with food. Not long after the events of the famous singer being dragged to the psych ward, Maeve - a homeless drug addict roaming the streets of LA - is met with a similar fate as she wakes up in that same psych ward after an unintentional overdose. How will things work out for them? Can they win their internal battles? Will they make each other's lives even more miserable in the process or could they actually find comfort in one another?Complete
Vulnerable
I wrote this story a while ago and it was very hard to write, but very healing to read back afterwords. It is Emily and reader centric. It does use Y/N, I have tended away from that since then, but my first two Emily fics are written with the second person, Y/N, style. The reader is written as she/her. No smut, just angst, depressing / cathartic shit, and friendship. I will give fair warning, this story is heavily about SH. If this is triggering for you, please don't read this, or you can come back and read it another time, when you feel capable of taking it on. I want my stories to be captivating and cathartic, not to cause harm or damage to my readers. I write to vent my own frustrations and to live through my characters, being comforted, validating my own feelings, etc... Many of my stories, as my blog may suggest, will be VERY dark. This story is no exception. Please read and enjoy this if you are in the state of mind to handle it, if not, it will be here another time. Take care of yourself first. You can even look in the Mental Health links I added to the end of my pinned post. Take care of yourself. You are worth it. Without much further ado... the story...Complete
"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.
More detailsContent Guidelines