I've Got It Under Control - myrealnameisasecret - Wattpad

I've Got It Under Control

myrealnameisasecret

Reads 73,466
Votes 1,052
Parts 38
Time 5h 9m

Reads 73,466
Votes 1,052
Parts 38
Time 5h 9m

myrealnameisasecret

Mature

Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life?

~
I've Got It Under Control 

That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise.

Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. 

~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~All Rights Reserved

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38 parts

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𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐻𝑦𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑎 | 𝐁.𝐄. by greylish

"Its been one year and eight months since, and now all of a sudden you bring her up, why now? Out of all days?" I ask Jake sincerely. "I can see the act your putting up in front of everyone. The recklessness and all. You can get away with all of that with everyone else, but you can't fool me Bil," Jake tells me concerningly. "Why does it matter? I moved on, I have Drew. I'm not stuck on her anymore. Clearly - I've proven that by now," I say to Jake. "Do you mean that sincerely?" Jake asks me. I huff before looking back at Jake. "Yes. I do," I say to him truthfully. "Alright well. Finneas decided that it was best that I'd break the news to you," Jake says before sitting up in his seat. I look at him with my eyebrows furrowed, and suddenly a deep trench of anxiety forms in the pit of my stomach. "What is it?" I ask him. He hesitates before speaking. "Lilith is coming back to LA to work on the stage crew," Jake says. My eyes slightly widen. Fuck. ~~~ A year has gone by and now Lilith is back. Although a reunion is coming up, a year can change a person drastically, and as they say, change is inevitable. Will Lilith be able to reconnect with Billie? Or is it seemingly hopeless? Will Lilith finally remember Billie? Or did change form Lilith into a completely different person? ~~~ (This is the Second Book to the first book called 'Sweet Belladonna'. I highly recommend you go back to read the first one before continuing on reading this one, or else you'll be majorly confused.) ~~~ AU (Alternate Universe); Though some characters are real, this is fiction. Keep that in mind. Will contain explicit language, depression, anxiety episodes, violence, smoking, drinking, trauma, drugs, and real-life events that occur. +18 Votes and Comments help me a ton, so please feel free to do so.

I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader) by _healingmyself_

"I'm living in hell. At least that's how it feels. But it's okay because I don't know any different. You can get used to anything if you think it's meant to be." Y/n is living her life in the hell of her childhood home until the BAU frees her. After years there is a reunion with her rescuers to help solve her own case. Does everybody still recognize her? Does y/n remember what happend? Is she good enough and able to help? And why can't she get Emily Prentiss out of her head? I'm writing this story from the first person perspective. I use the pronouns she/her for y/n, if you would like something different, let me know. This is my first story and English is not my first language, so please be gracious. This story covers toxic parents, murder (not clearly described), violence and mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-harm and suicide attempt/ thoughts. Please don't read this story if it triggers you. If you wanna know exactly what TW every Chapter has, feel free to message me. Maybe there will be smut if I dare to write this ;) I don't own any of the characters! Have fun and let me know what you think!

DELUSIONS by annabethgranger666

I thought my life was perfect and I had it all figured out. Something happened and now I'm stuck in therapy with Dr. Lee. But I don't need therapy I'm ok, at least that's what the voices have told me... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *I keep having this dream where i love someone and they love me It felt so real, it felt so real that my heart breaks every single morning.* - Abbey Glover ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thank youu @Myths_Allegories for the beautiful cover!!!!!

Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

Heart On A Platter by rainingcats_dogs

Alexithymia, in the best state a person can experience a hardship in describing or expressing feeling, but in the worst case, the patient can not feel at all. 10% of the general population experiences this disorder. I am one of them, and this is my story. ************** The question is that can a girl that can't feel, even love? Rose Davail, a girl burdened since she can remember without emotions, love, joy, sadness? It's all just a void, nothing but numb to her, but what happens when her world spins drastically out of control when she meet Declan? Will her life stay the void it's always been or will she finally feel love?

Miracles by Bunnywrights

Maria had everything she ever needed. but, one fateful day, she loses it all. her lover, her home, her parents....everything. Broken and torn, she goes to America hoping she could try to start over but, an unexpected person intrudes her life and turns upside down and inside out. she struggles even more. But love comes in a least expected time, in a least expected way. ~... Sneak peak... ~ She talked in past tense when she talked about Arden. 'he was always there for me....' 'he had always known to lighten up the mood....' He thought it was his interest since childhood to be a detective was playing again but when he said something like, 'I already like this Arden of yours' A dark cloud settled on her face. Her eyes became glossy. James thought that she was going to cry. 'Yes' she said finally with an amused look in her face. 'you two could have gotten along just fine' ~............ ~ trigger warning!!! some characters might self harm, to escape from problems even for a tiny moment. This might trigger some people. Any type of comments are welcomed. Show me my flaws and I'll do more than my best to make them right. I'm hoping to start a career in writing so, help me out guys :) but do not insult other people's comments please

It Wasn't Love ✔️ by depressedn0nce

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I Can't by ceceinnitt

TW! Eating disorders, self harm, rape, panic attack, alcohol, suicidal thoughts/attempt While streaming one day, some people in the chat comment on George's weight. He laughs it off in the moment but starts to watch what he eats and work out more. Eventually he eats less and less and tries to convince himself and others he's just not hungry or he's on a diet. But it all goes downhill from there. Disclaimer! This is just a fanfiction! It's not real and I am in no way trying to insult any of the dsmp members. :) For anyone struggling right now, I promise it gets better. A glow stick has to break before it glows. (cringey I know but it's true) Love you all! <3

It was under control by myrealnameisasecret

Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~

Choices by glowstixx1120

I feel arms wrap around me, pulling me into a warm body. "No." I whisper out, I try to get away but it was no use, the arms only wrapped tighter around my waist. My body freezes when a hand comes around my throat. "I told you kitten, I love the chase." I let out a groan when he bites my ear, pulling it. "Seems like I'm not the only one." A dark chuckle leaves his lips sending shivers down my body. I hold my thighs together as much as I could. "Luca, let her get ready." I look at Nikola, Luca let's go of me with a groan and I go to walk away from him. "You could always skip therapy and I could give you some therapy." "Luca." x x x Welcome to the life of Jessica Winters. A woman with a sad past. She was alone growing up, then she found Janice and Ray. Owners of the diner that she works at, they treated her like their own and helped her so much. She was okay with being alone, it's what she knew. It's what she was use to, then they walked in. As soon as the five men enter her life she was starting to feel things that she never knew that she could feel. Adrianno. Nikola. Stefano. Luca. Nico. Cold-hearted. Merciless. All dangerous in their own right. They were use to passing a girl around until they were bored. Until they went to the diner and saw the girl behind the counter. They could tell she was broken, but somewhere under the wall that she had built was a light that attracted them all. Come join the journey of Jess trying to find herself. All while trying to juggle the new feelings and emotions that she's never felt before. Will she open up her heart, or will she run and never look back? This story is filled with things that might be a trigger to some people. Suicide, multiple sexual partners, bullying. Please read at your own risk

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𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐻𝑦𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑎 | 𝐁.𝐄. cover

I See you, Y/N. (Emily Prentiss X Reader) cover

DELUSIONS cover

Cold Water cover

Heart On A Platter cover

It Wasn't Love ✔️ cover

It was under control cover

𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐻𝑦𝑑𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑎 | 𝐁.𝐄.

"Its been one year and eight months since, and now all of a sudden you bring her up, why now? Out of all days?" I ask Jake sincerely. "I can see the act your putting up in front of everyone. The recklessness and all. You can get away with all of that with everyone else, but you can't fool me Bil," Jake tells me concerningly. "Why does it matter? I moved on, I have Drew. I'm not stuck on her anymore. Clearly - I've proven that by now," I say to Jake. "Do you mean that sincerely?" Jake asks me. I huff before looking back at Jake. "Yes. I do," I say to him truthfully. "Alright well. Finneas decided that it was best that I'd break the news to you," Jake says before sitting up in his seat. I look at him with my eyebrows furrowed, and suddenly a deep trench of anxiety forms in the pit of my stomach. "What is it?" I ask him. He hesitates before speaking. "Lilith is coming back to LA to work on the stage crew," Jake says. My eyes slightly widen. Fuck. ~ A year has gone by and now Lilith is back. Although a reunion is coming up, a year can change a person drastically, and as they say, change is inevitable. Will Lilith be able to reconnect with Billie? Or is it seemingly hopeless? Will Lilith finally remember Billie? Or did change form Lilith into a completely different person? ~ (This is the Second Book to the first book called 'Sweet Belladonna'. I highly recommend you go back to read the first one before continuing on reading this one, or else you'll be majorly confused.) ~~~ AU (Alternate Universe); Though some characters are real, this is fiction. Keep that in mind. Will contain explicit language, depression, anxiety episodes, violence, smoking, drinking, trauma, drugs, and real-life events that occur. +18 Votes and Comments help me a ton, so please feel free to do so.