Despondency
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- Parts 1
"He'll never forgive me"
I said covering my face with my palm , crying harder than before. Even I won't forgive myself
"Yes he will" Aisha said sternly taking my hands in hers. She rushed in 30mins ago after receiving my call and she's been trying to convince me to call Fahad.
I asked her to come alone and I didn't tell her anything because I don't want anyone to know about this.
"I'm a great sinner even before Allah, I'm a murderer Aisha, a murderer"!!! I said snatching my hands. I started pacing around the room bitting what's left of my nails.
Aisha grabbed my shoulders harshly and screamed in my face, I was terrified I have never seen her like this, she is usually soft and kind .
" ENOUGH AMMA!! , you're not a murderer, it was an accident and qadr you couldn't have escaped it. Stop being hard on yourself, call your husband "asamu ayi masa sutura" (so they can wash & clothe the body) .
I dialed his number with shaky hands and put the phone on speaker I don't think I have the strength to lift my hand to ear level.. I rested my head on my sister's shoulder as she comforted me.
The body was lying right in front of us and I couldn't take my eyes off of him.. "Hello, Salamualaikum Amma sweetie ?"........ I kept sobbing and couldn't utter a word , how will I bring myself to tell him this, how.... just how.
"subhanallah habibti is everything ok, why are you crying ?.... hello..... hello "
After a series of Hello's and a pleading look from Aisha I finally said something.
"I.... KIL....LED.....OUR..... SON".
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'No....'she spoke anxiously in anger, her rose-tinted lips trembling, and tears welled up in her eyes. hearing 'No' from her mouth, it felt like my body was boiling with anger. I am Taha Aasif, no girl has ever said no to me. In anger, I stepped towards her, gripping her waist with my hand, pulling her forcefully towards me, our chests colliding. Suddenly, she looked at me with tension and innocent green eyes filled with fear. These very eyes have turned my life into torment, disrupting the peace in my otherwise decent life. "What's the problem with marrying me?" I asked in a suppressed, angry voice. "Why...because...I..." She stammered, tears streaming down from her eyes. I don't know why, but her tears pierce my heart every time. I don't know why I can't stand seeing tears in her eyes. "What...Rubab..." I shouted in anger, making her flinch. "Because I know I am a sinner, but I am not impure like you. And Allah says pure women are for pure men," "And impure women are for impure men." I looked into her eyes while completing her sentence She lowered her gaze and nodded slightly. I know I'm an animal; I do any job that Rubab's Allah forbids. But that Allah never gave me anything. He took everything from me, but I won't let him take Rubab. "So let's make it equal, future wife. I'll make you impure like me, then you'll agree to marry me, right?" I said, caressing her cheeks with back of my palm and pressed my rough cigarette and alcohol-laden lips against her soft rose lips. ******* Taha Aasif 30 years old A handsome man with a short temper His work partner calls him a beast and merciless. Rushda Rubab 18 years old A beautiful young girl whose goal is to re-establish her mother's political party. She is Abraham Ahmad's lifeline. She is full of faith. He is a non believer What happened what two different people collided with each other by the game called destiny. A Tale of innocence and obsession
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