Silent suicide

I sit here, in my dark thoughts.
Wondering how the hell I'm going to make it til dawn.
I contemplate my own destruction.
My hips are dripping crimson red. From my old, old friend.
Who would've thought that I would ever let such a small piece of metal define me. Constantly bringing me comfort; Numbness if you will.
I'm losing this fight. I don't know how I'll survive tonight.
Silently, quietly I look for a tool. But there are so many. A gun? Bleach? Ah, perhaps a rope?
I pull up a stool. Grab a notebook.
As I'm writing my final farewells, a tear leaves an imprint on the paper, causing the pen to smudge.
Next, I grab the rope. I've long since learned the art of tying a noose.
I place the loop around my neck. The other side attached to my ceiling fan. I stand on the stool.
I'm sobbing by now.
And as I utter my final goodbyes to this cruel world. I think to my poor mother. My dear, dear mother.
I've caused her so much pain...
I jump....
And just like that I cease to exist..