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Poem book

Poem book

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WpMetadataNoticeSon yayınlanan Sal, Oca 27, 2015
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Etiketlerfunnypoems
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
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I wait for him to look at me. "The fuck you staring at me for,bitch??" He snarls. I lean in quickly,pressing my lips to his. He freezes,eyes widening. Then he suddenly shoved me away,hard. I lost my balance and fell back. "Ew,the fuck you putting your girl germs on me for? Just because we're childhood friends doesn't mean I prefer your sushi over cock." "You kissed me last time and didn't wipe your lips!" He shrugs,looking forward. "That was different." I shove him,angrily. "Kiss me!" He narrows his eyes,shoving me back. "The fuck you raising your voice at??" I get in his face. "The only motherfucker here,you stupid or some shit?" He stares at me for a long time. Then ..."don't do that." "Do what?" I ask. "the attitude thing. Stop it." He looks forward again and I smile,smugly. "Why,am I intimidating?" I grin. "Intimidating?" He looks at me,thumping his cigarette. "Honey,you could never intimidate me." "Then why should I stop?" He leans in my face. "because when you get an attitude like that,it makes me want to fuck the shit out of you." He brushes past me without another word. ×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•× Vivian finally got into the college of her dreams,with attempting to ignore its weird condition. in attempts to find herself,she also ends up finding herself in more than just a love triangle. she isn't quite aware of her feelings yet,or why she was such an outcast before she became an adult,but she's determined to find true love among the multiple love choices that cross her mind daily. also attempting to find her meaning in life and why she was born with certain powers not all possess. from sneaking into a male boarding house,disguised as a male to being seduced by her childhood male best friends as well as falling for complete assholes,ghosts and even realizing she might be bisexual. she's in quite the pickle.

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