shrek x enderman (ft. fiona)
  • Reads 399
  • Votes 22
  • Parts 11
  • Time <5 mins
  • Reads 399
  • Votes 22
  • Parts 11
  • Time <5 mins
Complete, First published Feb 14, 2021
Mature
shrek has a wild adventure by having a crush on enderman. what will happen? and what is fiona doing with shrek having a crush on enderman????

(Wrote this like a year ago btw fr 😆😆😆🙏💪👍👏💥)
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I wrote this when I was drunk. The extent to which I was inebriated shall henceforth not be discussed. As an essential disclaimer, I do not own any of the characters, brands, places, or things discussed in this story. Of course, hopefully you already knew that one cannot own a human for a human is already owned by themselves. Although, if Marthe Woertman, Harry Styles, or Shrek do not own themselves I am entirely willing to campaign for their freedom. I am also deeply sorry to the above should they ever come across this literary masterpiece. Which would be tragic. A complete and utter disaster. Anyways this is a story about love of the not at all heterosexual variety. While there are disturbing mentions of previous heterosexuality it is not discussed at length or in detail. Also if you came to this story seeking Harry Styles or Shrek, while they are both key characters, it is mostly about Marthe Woertman and an entirely fictional girl who is simply pining for a hot, tall, dutch, Leo. I also wouldn't read this if you have any standards at all. I warn you, it is Hallmark Christmas Movie/Wattpad Fanfic crossover and simply should not exist. It is not rated mature because it does not have...y'know...the canoodling? the hickory dickory dock? the secret touchy thing? in it because it does not. I rated it that way because I did not, and I shall repeat, I did not proof read this at all. Also I don't really know anything about Marthe Woertman. Or Amsterdam. This will be wildly inaccurate in every respect. I just got crunk, was watching tiktoks, and I decided that I really like the woman's cheek bones and accent and astrological sign so the next time I got crunk I wrote an entire novel. Also Harry Styles and Shrek are both villains. Sorry.
Shrek 2: Happily 'N' Ever After [Book 2] by TashaFarthing
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~Sequel to Shrek: Once Upon A True Love's Kiss [Book 1]~ I never thought that Alice, Zero and I would live in a world that I thought was just a movie and doesn't exist, until we fell into a magical portal from the human realm where Alice and I grew up in. As soon as Shrek and Fiona returned from their honeymoon, they're told to visit Fiona's parents, the King and Queen of Far, Far, Away. Of course, Alice didn't want to pass up an opportunity to see a unicorn if there were any over there, and just had to drag Zero and I along with them, didn't she? Upon meeting the King and Queen of Far, Far, Away, we also have the unfortunate pleasure of meeting the so called 'Prince Charming', who just so happened to be the son of Fairy Godmother. Knowing Alice, I'll have no choice but to go on another adventure with Shrek and the gang and help him out with the whole 'true love's kiss' thing once again. Not that I'm complaining, I get to test out my wings and healing powers, as well as spend time with all of them. After all, we need to stop Prince Charming from kissing Fiona when the clock strikes midnight, or it's over for Shrek. Otherwise, all of this would've been for nothing! Can we stop him on time? Will I find out who froze my parents and my home, and why? Completed: 10/03/2021 ✔️ Shrek: Once Upon A True Love's Kiss [Book 1] ✔️ Shrek 2: Happily 'N' Ever After [Book 2] ✔️ Shrek The Third: The Would Be King & I [Book 3] ✔️ **Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, with the exception of Willow, Alice, and Zero, and this fanfic. All rights go to Dreamworks, Don Bluth, etc. Any fan art used belongs to their rightful owners. This is literally a fanfic made for fans of fans - nothing more, nothing less.**
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~Sequel to Shrek 2: Happily 'N'Ever After [Book 2]~ Uncle Connor: Now remember: No nagging, bragging, sweating, fretting, slipping, tripping, slurping, burping, twittering, or frittering allowed. Me: What if I fall gracefully? Zero: That's literally the same thing as slipping and tripping, minus the graceful part. Me: Really? Aunt Ella: Yes. Me: So...I can get away with falling gracefully, then? Alice: No...not unless you're doing it on purpose to catch someone's attention~ As you can tell, that's how my lessons on learning to be a proper Princess usually start. Strict lessons on manners, learning the history of the past royals, which cutlery you have to use with certain meals, etc. etc. Blah, blah, blah. And the worst lesson of them all: Ballroom dancing! On top of that, I'm constantly reminded that I need to find my 'true love' and receive true love's kiss by sunset on my 17th birthday, otherwise I turn into a frozen statue just like my parents, grandmother, and kingdom, and stay like that forever. When Shrek asked me to go with him to visit Worcestershire Academy and find Arthur Pendragon, the one uncle Harold mentioned before he took his final breath, you could imagine the relief I felt to finally have the opportunity to escape my lessons without someone dragging me back every time I tried to ditch them. Question is: Will I be able to break the spell before the deadline? What if Arthur is 'the one'? Will I finally get the happy ending everybody keeps teasing me about? Completed: 25/03/2021 ✔️ Shrek: Once Upon A True Love's Kiss [Book 1] ✔️ Shrek 2: Happily 'N' Ever After [Book 2] ✔️ Shrek The Third: The Would Be King & I [Book 3] ✔️ **Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, with the exception of Willow, Alice, and Zero, and this fanfic. All rights go to Dreamworks, Don Bluth, etc. Any fan art used belongs to their rightful owners. This is literally a fanfic made for fans of fans - nothing more, nothing less.**
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