This is a diary, or a journal, of a young man's early life.
For no one can understand the meaning of his life but himself and no one can fully comprehend his existence but himself. He understands that his life is just a great miracle. He is the condensation of all the feelings in the world and through his being, he understands the meaning of happiness and sadness, joy and grief, freedom and subjection, and understanding and incomprehension. He is the beginning and the end of his life and in him, the world will be remembered as in the world, he will be remembered also.
For truly, Beauty will save the world.
"What is the Comfort of Death?"
"What?"
"It is the satisfaction that you feel when your last twitch of muscle is an eternal smile."
"That is good, brother, goodness inescapable."
Elliot's partner was his whole world, but after Allan's death, his ghost haunts Elliot's dreams. Everyone tells Elliot to move on, but he isn't sure he can.
*****
It's been a year since the love of Elliot's life, Allan, passed away. Everyone thinks he should have recovered after that much time, but Allan still haunts Elliot every night. He struggles to maintain relationships with his family, and despite a coworkers interest he can't summon up the courage to date. Elliot is living for the past, because to live for the present means he'll have to live with a hole in his heart. But the question Elliot has to face chases him through his monotonous days: is mourning Allan with everything he has truly living?
[[word count: 40,000-50,000 words]]