The Blabbering of a... Skeleton? Spirit?

Swearing. THERE MAY BE SWEARING, FOLKS. This may change, depending on my mood.
Also, the fic mentions yaoi and lemons but isn't actually one-

Okay, so before we begin: the first five chapters were written 3 months ago. 3 fudging months ago.
This is a crackfic kind of taken seriously. Enjoy at your own risk.

Only the first chapter is edgy so please skim the cringe, it's only a few sentences and there's like one line of necessary info-