Right Through Me

A story told through the eyes of the BAU's Spencer Reid. It's a love story and a tragedy. Enjoy.

...

-- Do you, reader, know how painful it is to watch who you are- you're entire sense of self- be ripped away from you? The primal urge to fight back is subdued only because you no longer know how strong you actually are. Every sense in your body goes numb and suddenly you're filled with a doubt stronger than any prescription medicine.

That's what I felt when Tobias Hankle, my dearest friend and my abuser, pushed the needle through the skin of my arm, causing me to come to terms with my humanity, and injected me with- of all things- drugstore heroine.

Over and over and over again, I was violated this way. Flooded by memories that are too important to share and too painful to remember, I was invaded.

Yet, it helped. I remember the pain slipping away and the high taking hold of me almost immediately. It's the kind of feeling that can only be described as acute euphoria that's just a little off.

I am addicted to this feeling. I am addicted to dilaudid.

And it's something that I can never tell anybody. My job and maybe every friendship I've ever had could be shattered if somebody gets even a whisper of the truth. --