Pain

▌│█║▌║▌║*𝖇𝖆𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖔𝖓 𝖆 𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖞* ║▌║▌║█│▌
-Where the mind dwells-
Thoughts forming,
Throats choking,
Anxiety struggling,
I. Can't. Breathe.
Eyes wandering,
Voices whispering,
I'm failing,
I. Can't. Breathe.
People tell me to ignore it,
The words that they say,
Not to dwell on it,
I. Can't. Breathe.
Not today,
The people go on,
They become my dismay,
I. Can't. Breathe.
Melancholy thoughts,
Hiding in the shadows,
Holding back tears,
I. Can't. Breathe.
Pretending I'm fine,
Like I don't have insomnia and anxiety,
I wither away to dust,
I. Can't. Breathe.
I find myself awake at night,
I find myself tired during the day,
I find myself bottling up my emotions,
I. Can't. Breathe.
I find myself lying,
I find myself washing my face in the bathroom,
I find the scars from wiping my eyes too hard,
I. Can't. Breathe.
I can't let them see me cry,
I can't be too vulnerable,
I find myself realizing,
I. Can't. Breathe.
I find myself wishing,
Wishing one person would notice,
That I dig my nails into my hands,
I. Can't. Breathe.
I wish I had someone,
Someone to comfort me,
Someone to understand it,
I. Can't. Breathe.
There's no more air in my lungs,
What's a pain attack?
I'm not anxious,
I. Can't. Breathe.
I wonder,
Why am I sad?
Why can't I be happy?
I. Can't. Breathe.
Why can't I genuinely smile,
Without being criticized,
Without faking it,
Wish. I. Could. Breathe.
▌│█║▌║▌║~𝔭𝔬𝔢𝔪 𝔟𝔶 𝔪𝔢~ ║▌║▌║█│▌