devil

dear anon,
well never get back what we had and perhaps it's better that way, perhaps this was for the better and our relationship was unforgivable and toxic. but ive come to realize im nothing without you, like you were the devils helper leading me through hell, but that's not how I see our relationship. you meant everything to me. everything you did i worried if it was the best thing for you, for us. i miss that, but it can never happen the way it did again. i've come to realize that. it's such a harsh reality, without you. through facetimes and playlists and letters and friends and songs everything reminds me of you. that's something that will never change either. hmm, i wonder if you care about me as much as i do, i wonder if you think about me ever. i should hate you, but I don't. you treated me like a princess. I can never deny that. i felt so happy, so why was I so sad? why didn't I appreciate you? what we had? what I had? maybe this is my fault. who am i kidding, I already knew that. you know, hell was pretty nice when my little devil helper was there to lead me, you can't just leave me here devil, come back.