Can I ever smile like you (ferard)

I was walking through the forest that backed onto the house I lived in, pack of cigarettes in my dried bloody left hand and my other arm loosely beside my body with my right hand hanging their dead limp swaying with my arm as I curved through trees leaves crunching beneath my feet a noise that irritated me making me my clench my teeth to near breaking point I would imagine. Bloody hand cracked and itchy I reached the clearing pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up with the white lighter from my pocket, I breathed in the thick smoke letting it fill and destroy my lungs...........