How do you know wether your life is worth continuing when you spend 50% of it causing yourself harm, then the other 50% is when you are so called "living" although you feel dead, not just to yourself, but to everyone around you as well.
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John struggles with his war PTSD to this day, barely managing to make it through each passing day. But this is all made 10x worse as he's manipulated and assaulted by an old 'friend'.