The Curious Disappearance of Stick-Up-'is-Arse-McCartney

"I seriously don't get you," George said grumpily, "it's nothin' too serious. Erry-one's too fuckin' pissed to care anyway. Relax-"
"The problem," Paul bit out, a bit too buzzed for the words to be truly harsh, "is that it's a ridiculous thing to do. It's bloody insanity, Haz, and it'll be social suicide, alright?" he took another heated sip of his rum 'n coke and angrily noted that he was up for a refill, but he wasn't done scolding George yet. Alcohol could wait. "You'll be responsible for me murder, George. You hear that? Me murder."

***

Or,
Paul's been crushing on John for the better part of two years; George is only trying to help his best friend to finally kiss the guy he likes; and John simps for Paul. They're also all a bit drunk.
What could go wrong?
(Nothing.)