Mamihlapinatapai

"You may not want to be in my head. You might find someone other than myself that you won't be able to forget. It'll haunt you like a nightmare you can't tell. "

"Silly. What's in that tough demeanor, ate Cray?" tumawa lang si Ember at kumapit ulit sa braso ko. "I like you. That's enough right?"

Napailing na lang ako sa inaasal nito. If she'll learn our history, she'll then understand.

Pinalis ko yung kamay nitong nakakapit na naman sa braso ko. "Compose yourself, Ember. I don't like you. You're just like a sister to me. Someone I had to protect with my life."

I caught the way those words cut through her. It's visible in the same set of lifeless coal eyes that I am most familiar with.

"Bakit?"

I stared at her blankly.

"Atleast tell me what you don't like about me."

"That's exactly why it hurts the way it hurts." Napangiti ako ng mapait. "You have too many questions, too many words, in your head. But those will be left unsaid. Like me, you have to suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much every single day of your life. It hurts like hell."

"Damn you. I like you."

"You like me for what?"

"You. You're not like everyone else. You're so sure of yourself. You're clever. You're self-made. You're everything. Everyone likes you. So you should be mine."

I laughed at how shallow those things meant for her. Someone who can't even meet me in the depths of my shattered soul.

"Thanks. But those are all my disorder."

As i was about to turn my back, she whispered, "I actually feel sorry for you. You still don't know what it was that you even had. And yet still choose to lose. But one day, you'll see me for who I really am. And you're going to hate yourself for turning me down."

No, Ember. You're wrong. I know you. You don't know me. Our past will surely haunt us.

For you, I'll just be a girl known by everyone. But in fact, known by no one.

It's terrible isn't it? The way we throw people away.

****