This Will End In Flames

He hates it, he hates this, the strongest emotion he's ever felt, the supposedly beautiful magical feeling everyone always talked about, made him want to through up. He couldn't stand it, and yet...
The worst part was how hard it was to not reach out and touch him. He was right there. He was so close. But he couldn't, and he didn't.
"I was nothing, he was everything,"

Cassian is in love with Cyrus, not that he could ever tell. and they were childhood rivals, after all, a Vampire and a Nephilim, Cyrus was everything, he was pure power, the kind of power that sucked you in until you couldn't feel your face, the kind that made you want more, Cass was so empty, and Cyrus, Cyrus was so full, full of love, of light, of hope. "I would have given anything to touch him, just once, to grab him close and sink my teeth into that pretty little neck of his, to make him cling to him like what he made me, a starved man. A starved man searching for something, anything, to fit in place of the heart he lost.