It was under control - myrealnameisasecret - Wattpad

It was under control

myrealnameisasecret

Reads 56,989
Votes 772
Parts 32
Time 10h 50m

Reads 56,989
Votes 772
Parts 32
Time 10h 50m

myrealnameisasecret

Mature

anxietyattacks anxietydisorder depression disorder disorderedeating eating eatingdisorder ed mentaldisorder mentalhealth pain psychiatrist psychward psycward recovery sad selfinjury texttospeech therapy

Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending...

~

"GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. 

~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~All Rights Reserved

anxietyattacks anxietydisorder depression disorder disorderedeating eating eatingdisorder ed mentaldisorder mentalhealth pain psychiatrist psychward psycward recovery sad selfinjury texttospeech therapy

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Burning Desires

They were both so determined to have me. So relentless in their chase. I tried to tell the both of them I couldn't do it. I didn't date. I didn't have sex. I didn't do anything other than what was expected of me. But neither would listen and It was impossible to choose. Both were so completely different. Bleu was calamity. He was whom I craved when I needed quiet and serenity; when I needed to laugh and smile and let go of stress. Bleu was a warm sunset on the horizon of calm waters. An artist whom sought a muse. A free spirit who didn't realize his own potential to make the world a better place. Bleu gave me something I'd never known before. He gave me peace. He gave me a purity. Lucien was the complete opposite; he was tortured and traumatized and so familiar to me. When I needed the voices and the anxieties to disappear, when I needed to feel absolutely nothing but ecstasy, I knew I needed Lucien. He fed a part of me that had been awakened years ago. He fed my anger, my rage, and my fear until I had none left. He also needed someone who understood all that he was, and all that he needed. I had little knowledge of the dating world but they knew that already, and it didn't matter to them. So, I had to do what I had to do in order to protect myself; to keep myself in check and not let my emotions and feelings get too involved. I was only so strong and when two incredible, irresistible, successful men popped up and teased me, taunted me, and begged for me, what the hell was I to do but experience them both... have them both? To have them both and live the lie. Keeping my friends and family whom I'd once shared everything with- on the outside of my personal life. Two chance meetings. One massive lie. And two irresistible men. This would be the biggest challenge Elysia Lockwood had ever faced before.