I wanna Die but I can't

It all started when I got into an argument to a gc of otaku's and then we started trashtalk well I forgot to SS their trashtalk and they SS mine so gg after that they tell my parents stories like how I trashtalk the girls well some of them and they still feel like they are the once that really hurt well they gang up on me in gc soo yeah well nxt time, I won't believe some anime or movie or something that say's your family have your back well that's a lie. I thought they would have my back instead they are siding at them for knowing they were at the school my dad teaching at that time, I was ready to commit suicide but good thing my aunt is there and take my side. After that we went home because we where at my aunt that time. My father beat me up and broke my cp that's why my cp is broken and a little bit side ways. And after that my mother tell me that I should control my temper so now I'm starting to control it and I already know what should I do. I apologize to them and after that I cut off all my communication to them. A couple of days have past I already apologize to them and some forgive me some still don't accept it yet well I won't stop for apologizing for what I done bad to them. And I learn from my mistake but my dad always bringing it up even thought I admit my mistake and I am trying to change and now this day date: march 29. 2021 he tell me it again I thought parents will help you go up but instead my parents always makes me fall and it really hurts to see other parents loving their children except of mine that is only full or hatred and sadness. They always compare me to other children that my age saying why can't u be like that kid or be like your cousin well if I say I can't my father will only trashtalk me or even worse beat me up so I chose to say quiet and just nod my head. And I was thinking what if I just commit suicide but then I realise that my little brother will be sad and my grandma at grandpa will be sad to and worse is my gf will be sad.