Chris always knew the risks. He knew he could die. He ignored it. He sidestepped around that fact, always pushing it to the back of his brain when he knelt in front of the toilet each night. If only Chris valued his life enough to end this habit that had consumed his life the past two years. If only Chris wasn't lonely, in debt, in love with his best friend, a closeted gay, and bulimic. If only. But this was his illness' life. He was only living in it. TW: Some chapters have descriptive depictions of eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and other topics that may be sensitive to some views.